I am a sheep

Mercy Trumps Justice

2009-10-29T10:01:00.001-05:00

As I've mentioned in the past Father Stephen Freeman of internet fame (Glory to God blog & Podcast) is my priest. If you're a regular reader, you know that he really only has about 3 topics ;-) And one of those is Mercy, especially the Mercy of God as opposed to human understanding of Justice.

A couple of ideas that are percolating in my head right now:
Justice is about finding the balance, the punishment fitting the crime. For what crime is "Eternal Damnation" a fit punishment? There is none.

The worst sin, the most depraved human wickedness is but a grain of sand in the oceans of Gods mercy. (Paraphrased from St. Isaac the Syrian and Father Stephen.)

In the Serom on the Mount, St. Matthew tells us to "Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect" (Mt 5:48). yet, how can we even begin to attempt that? Interestingly we can find the answer in St. Luke's accounting of the Sermon on the Plain. "Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful" (Lk 6:36). We are to imitate God's perfection in His mercy.

All of this is in my mind because locally we are having highly public murder trial. The victims were subjected to some pretty heinous stuff and there's a disturbing, bloodthirsty mob mentality infecting people as they talk about the trial, especially when they comment on the defendants and the public defenders.

Hobbies, Part Four

2007-05-23T13:42:00.000-05:00

Another Hobby that interests me.

This is one I'd get into if I had the skills and time. I guess the skills could be acquired from that ancient technology: books. So really just time. Anyway...

Let's call this hobby "Tinkering."
We'd be best served by me simply showing what I mean.

An Underwood #5 Computer?!

The Bug.

Von Slatt Keyboard

The Nagy Magical-Movable-Type
Pixello-Dynamotronic Computational Engine™

There's actually a site, called Instructables where people share instruction for tinkering.

Here's a weird sample, The Shopping Cart Chair.

Hobbies, Part 3

2007-05-15T09:13:00.022-05:00

In this installment, we examine my own favorite hobby...
Roleplaying Games
Since one of my best net-buddies asked, let me explain.

A roleplaying game (rpg) can be described as cops and robbers with rules. If you were to watch my group play you would see 5 or 6 guys (RPG players are predominantly male) sitting around a large table. We would have several books, different shaped dice, papers, and pencils on the table before us. One of us (currently me) describes/verbally acts out scenes and people while the others at the table verbally act out a particular person. It has elements of improvisational theater. Typically you play the same character for an extended period of time (weeks, months, or even a year or two in real time).

It sounds incredibly dull when described like that. Here's a more imaginative description:

A small band of fortune-seekers, explorers, and heroes made their way through the jungle to the lost city. They knew not what to expect, but prepared for trouble. Dr. Otensheisser and his Nazi goons may very well be awaiting the heroes, but they knew his secret and were ready for his machinations. A flock of noisy colorful tropical birds burst, squawking, from the trees ahead.

"I reckon that's the sign we've been loong for," said the Jack Resolute, the American leader of the group.
"I'll go on ahead and scout out their position," said Kasaji, the martial artist whose skills bordered on mystical.
"Doc, You ready with that inmvention of yours," Jack asked you.
....Are you ready?...Will you defeat the Nazis?...What frightening surprise awaits you and your friends in the Lost City?

Or

The Northern Barbarian, the dwarf, the peasant, and the elf drifted down the river on their ad hoc raft. The wagon had served well on land and with a few minor alterations, was taking them from the destruction at Himmelbrecht. After several days of southerly travel, the harsh northern winter had become the cool beginning of spring. Expecting the next town--and hoping to book passage on a real river barge--the group instead saw a huge net, over six feet high, strung across the width of the river.

In a matter of seconds the raft was entangled in the net. As Gustav the peasant and Hrothgar the barbarian worked on cutting them free they heard a huge splash from the bank. All heads turned and saw a pair of ogre's, nearly twice Hrothgar's height, wading toward them. The pair were barely clad in rags and bits of bone fashioned into a necklace of trophies. The larger monster, and the one in the lead, carried a huge axe in his gnarled hands. The other carried a spiked club. The adventureers on the raft had only a few minutes to prepare...
...What will you do? ...Do you continue trying to cut through the net in hopes of escape?...Do you brace for mortal combat with the fast approching brutes?

If you ever read a book or seen a movie and thought, "I wish I could spend some time in that world, having those kinds of adventures," then you have some idea what motivates us to play RPGs. The most well-known RPG is Dungeons & Dragon. It has, in the past, been slurred as a demonic activity used to inculcate kids into the occult. Frankly it is an activity that draws highly imaginative people and is subject to its abuses.

Over the years playing roleplaying games has been accused of promoting suicide, devil worhsip, and other heinous acts. None of these claims have substantiated. A study by the CDC concluded that roleplayers are no more likely to commit suicide than the general population. And in fact, another report suggests that they are much less likely to commit suicide than the general population.Here are a few responses to the typical "Jack Chick"-ian attacks on Roelplaying:

The Pulling Report
Facts and Fictions about RPGs (pdf file) http://www.theescapist.com/facts-and-fictions-about-RPGs.pdf
A Lovely FAQ for you http://www.theescapist.com/basic_gaming_faq.htm

Hobbies, Part Two

2007-05-10T12:54:00.000-05:00

Continuing my posts about hobbies which I find fascinating, but are not mine I give you ...

Cardstock modeling.
Seriously. There are some pretty cool freebies out there. I tried one and it turned out pretty good (it was a Norman Church).

Some medieval buildings.

Some Wild West models

Here's one for the Pirate in you.

World Works Games has, in addition to a wide variety of models, has a set of tutorial movies.

Some of these are used for miniature wargaming, but you can find many that are simply works of art:
East Gate
Chinese Bridge (click on the pictures for a better view).

There's a whole bunch of links at Iceberg Bouwplaten (hey it's a dutch site; I linked the english version.

There's plenty of freebies to try out.

Hobbies, part one

2007-05-09T15:53:00.000-05:00

I am a Roleplaying gamer. Not computer gamer, not miniature wargamer, I'm talking about pencils and paper and books and rolling funny shaped dice.

Other people have interesting hobbies too.

Here one I stubled across:
Cipher and made up scripts. One of my favorite characters from literature, Patrick O'Brian's Stephen Maturin, kept a jounal in a cipher. I wonder if it looked anything like these?

Constructed Scripts are created alphabets for existing languages. Most are so stylized as to be little more than decoration.

Some, however, like the Elian Script are beautiful and look like they could actually be used.

In case anyone still checks by...

2007-05-08T12:42:00.000-05:00

Doubtful. It's been ages since I posted. But something (vanity perhaps) has got me thinking about blogging again. So here it goes.

I recently posted this to the OXWOMS yahoo group. OXWOMS is an acronym for "Orthodox Without My Spouse" and I know I've mentioned it herein before.

Fr Stephen (appearantly of Blog fame of late) gave a sermon once
wherein he compared the Beatitudes with Paul's description of love in
1 Cor. 13. Part of his point was that if "God is Love" (1 John 4:16)
then the description of love in 1 Cor. tells us how God is.
Furthermore, these are illuminated by the Beatitudes, becasue God is
Blessed. I don't intend to repeat it here, but someday I hope to
transcribe it. It is the best single sermon I've ever heard.

For our purposes the relevant part come from 1 Cor. 13:
4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not
parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not
seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in
iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never fails.

Obviously we love our spouses, else we wouldn't agonize over
converting without them. Think for a moment about the above passage
in term of your spouse and your desire for them to become Orthodox.
My favorite part is "Love believes all things, hopes all things,
endures all things. Love never fails." God will never give up
believing, hoping and enduring--awaiting the day when your beloved
chooses the fullness of the Orthodox Faith. Neither should you. We
are called to "Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful" (Luke
6:36). God's mercy is his love, in loving others we should strive to
the description Paul has given us.

I take great strength and comfort from Paul's definition of love. I
hope you can too.

Just reading that passage nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Hopefully more to follow.

Some reflection

2006-10-19T22:41:00.000-05:00

My blogging discipline seems to be related to to things. The first is "financial and job" stress. I have never been much of a stressed-out type. But I notice that I blog much more when I'm sailing along in life. Recently we've been having some financial difficulties and I haven't been blogging...

Secondly is simply my interest level. I've recently been hanging out on some Roleplaying forums and made some new local friends because of it! But it means that down time at work is no longer blogging time.

A few things (will it be three? I'm not sure)

1. Librarything.com This site is da bomb. It's been called Myspace for book lovers. Put your library online. Get suggestions from others with similar tastes. See the new thingy at the side!
Here's my Catalog.

2. Anyone a member of OrthodoxCircle? It looks worthwhile, but I'd like to know what the traffic is like. Do the boards get much traffic?

3. Like a murder of crows, time flies. My baby son, Paul, is FOUR! I can't believe it. Cute quote of the week (said to our younger priest in after chuch meal chit chat}: "How come you talk about he Yord [he can't say his "L"] instead of Rock and Roll?" Father's response, "Well Paul I talk about all kinds of things. I am a priest so I should talk about the Lord. So should you." You've got to see him play air guitar with his rock and roll sneer to really get this one.

Yay. Three things!

The Former Bandit

2006-10-19T22:22:00.000-05:00

As my few readers know, I have contemplated writing a biographical novel about Saint Moses the Black. Here is a swing in that direction.

Today the Governor came to Scetis seeking Abba Moses. He came to the gate and we met him there, as we felt he should be accorded great honor. I offered him wine and dates and a seat in the cool of the shade. He made a great show of all of this, like we were guests in his court. Finally I asked if he had seen our blessed Abba.

"I did not," he said.

"Why did your excellency not see Abba Moses?" I asked.

"Fathers," he said, "I have heard a great deal about Abba Moses so I came to the desert to see him." He paused wiping the sweat from his brow. His ruddy cheeks and damp armpits were proof that he lived a soft life.

"A few leagues before we came to your cells I met an old man by the swamp. Thinking he was on of the brethren, I asked him about Abba Moses' cell. He answered that going to see him is waste of time. The old man said Abba Moses is a feeble old man given to wickedness."

I sat in stunned silence while the brothers moaned and shouted that this was false and that we should find this old man and shown the truth. The brothers acted very shamefully, forgetting their place and the words of the Fathers about idle talk. Finally I calmed them down and asked the Governor about this old man.

"He was an old man, as I have said, and very thin. His clothes were hardly better than a beggar and his face was the color of tanned leather. He had a long white beard and half his head was bald."

I looked around at the brothers and they all understood.

"Your Excellency has indeed met with Abba Moses, for the man you describe was certainly he."

"Then truly he has master the way of self-denial."

"Indeed," I said.

Later, after the Governor and his party had left, I went to the swamp and found Abba Moses still sitting in the reeds.

"Abba," I said, "Why do you sit in the reeds and hide?"

"Because," he said, "I am a feeble old man given to wickedness."

Whenever I remember Abba Moses I think about that day. By his own words and actions he taught us all to be humble.

Steve Irwin

2006-09-05T14:26:00.000-05:00

It's strange how the death of a stranger can have an effect on you. A few years ago the wife of a list member from the Orthodox Convert list died. It tore me up. I had exchanged a few private emails with this person, but nothing legthy. When Princess Di died, it didn't phase me. It was tragic, sure, but I had no connection to her. Chris Farley, sad, but not surprising. When Phil Hartman (SNL alum with Farley) died, it really touched me. He seemed like such a nice guy, a neighbor who'd loan you his trimmer and ask your family over for burgers.

I liked Steve Irwin. I liked watching him and Sui (his dog) then later Terri (his wife) go chasing after crocs to relocate. Or schreeching to a stop in the middle of a back country highway to rescue a snake that had been hit by a car. Or organizing the rescue of a huge croc from the zoo in a war-torn country. I felt like Steve was a nice guy. He was who you saw on the screen. Exuberant, madly in love with his wife and kids, absolutely loyal to his friends, and genuinely concerned for all of Gods creatures.

I'll miss Steve. We should all take as much joy in our jobs and family as he did in his.

Into thy hands, O Lord, I commend the soul of thy servant Steven, and beseech thee to grant him rest in the place of thy rest, where all thy blessed Saints repose, and where the light of thy countenance shineth forever. And I beseech thee also to grant that our present lives may be godly, sober, and blameless, that, we too may be made worthy to enter into thy heavenly Kingdom with those we love but see no longer: for thou art the Resurrection, and the Life, and the Repose of thy departed servants, O Christ our God, and unto thee we ascribe glory: to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit; now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

Iceland (again), Faery's Tale, and a new project

2006-08-30T13:46:00.000-05:00

Three things for Wednesday:
1. Iceland Again?

Something (I'll tell you in #2) set me thinking about one of my geographical obsessions: Iceland. In doing a little Googling I found the website chronicling a couple's honeymoon in Iceland. They have taken some very nice pictures. Iceland is absolutely beautiful.

It's landscape makes me think every fantasy cliche except "deep dark woods" TM.

2. Faery's Tale

I now have a PDF of Faery's Tale and I have been reading it voraciously. I love this game! It's not just for kids, but what fun the kids will have.

As far as I know, only the spouse of one of my readers in a gamer, but this is too cool not to share. BTW, they've cleverly avoided any baggage associated with the term "role-playing game" by calling it an Interactive Storytelling Game.

The default setting is really geared towards kids and that's what got me thinking about Iceland. I'd like to come up with a setting more appropriate to grown-up game-play than Brightwood. For some reason I keep coming back to a Norse setting. I'd make some new faery types. Great, another project. ;-)

3. Speaking of projects...

Many writer, especially in the fantasy genre, talk about the experience of feeling like a scribe recording what some other intelligence is sending. R.E. Howard said that the Conan stories popped into his head fully formed. Tolkien once wrote a friend that he didn't know who this Strider chap was and where the hobbits would go after the Prancing Pony. Ursala K. LeGuin has written that many elements of Earthsea just fell into place and she knew they were right when she wrote them. I don't think any sane writer believes they are merely recording the thoughts of another being, but it sure can feel that way sometimes.

Recently I've been working on a constructed world that has slowly formed in my imagination with almost no probing on my part. It is inspired, in part, by Paul Simon's song "Boy in the Bubble" and by Natalie Merchant's song "Carnival." But that's misleading. The songs both create picture in my mind that fits this new world. For convenience, I'm calling it Days of Miracle and Wonder, a line from Paul Simon.

I already know a little bit about the two cities I've been focusing on. The city in the Jungle is built near something like Iguazo Falls:

It is characterized by its wondrous and mysterious technology. It is built in a series of terraces right into a mountainside. It is ruled by a senate of representatives from each terrace and various religious, trade, and military groups.

The city in the desert is full of healers, magicians, and miracle workers. It looks a little like this:

It is down river from the City in the Jungle. It is ruled by a benevolent tyrant.

Three things for Tuesday

2006-08-29T13:51:00.000-05:00

1. I have ordered and eagerly await the arrival of a role-playing game called Faery's Tale. From the website:

You can fly. You can fight. You can save the world. Soar.

You are a pixie, brownie, sprite, or pooka protecting the enchanted fairy-tale land of Brightwood in this interactive storytelling game suitable for ages 6 & up. Foil plots by your wicked dark faery kin, rescue youngsters from giants, overthrow sorcerous tyrants, awaken princesses from magical slumbers, watch over faery godchildren or embark on other amazing adventures, happily ever after.

It is aimed at parents and children.

2. I have lined up a possible gig editing a novel. If it goes well, and I am going to do everything to see that it does, it may open the door for more editing work. And a freelance editor is about as clsoe to a dream job as I am likely to get.

3. My wife and daughter had a guest over yesterday. Her name is Maudie May and she is a pug dog. She actually belongs to my mother-in-law. I would have never picked my MIL to be a doggie-momma, but she is nuts for this dog. I can't stand the little booger. I don't know why, I'm ashamed to say. I love dogs. Love 'em. I have owned three pugs. Loved them all. but this little spoiled princess pooch just rubs me the wrong way. She is whiney and spoiled and...don't fret, she doesn't like me either. And, in my defense, before MIL got her we were thinking of adopting her and when we first met she took an immediate dislike to me.

My dog, Buster, also a pug, has moved out. After biting Paul, we just couldn't keep him in the home. I think he was trying to move up the pack hierarchy and saw Paul, as the youngest and smallest, as his way up. If Paul were older I doubt it would have even happened. Still he had to go. Luckily Anthony(beware his blog is enthusiastically political), Paul's Godfather, has long been Buster's pal and he took the naughty dog in.

I miss Buster. I miss having a dog.

Restart

2006-08-28T14:11:00.000-05:00

It looks like I've effectively taken the summer off from blogging. It was accidental, I assure you. I am a chronic procrastinator and, as any good procrastinator can attest, the longer you put something off the harder it is to begin doing it. So here I am. No excuses. Probably fewer readers, but oh well.

Read This Blog!
I have been reading blogs. Today I read one I wanted to comment on and found the comment form deactivated. Instead I link it here and say: Thank You Seraphim. That was beautiful.

The Summer
I've had a moderately uneventful summer. I didn't take any extended vacation, I used up half my paid days moving in the spring and didn't want to be left without paid leave should I contract bird flu or West Nile virus (I kid, I kid). Sophie had a great summer. She, along with my mom, sister, aunt, and 2 cousins, went to a family reunion for the descendents of my maternal Grandfather's parents (Evans). She loved driving to South Dakota. Paul was happy that Grandma brought him a t-shirt from Sturgis. At 3-almost 4, he loves motorcycles.

Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review
Issue 2 of MZSFR is being sent to contributors and subscribers right now. The 2nd print run should happen this week, enabling us to activate the PayPal link. This issue is billed as our Spring issue, hah! Several real life events managed to intrude and delay s heaped upon delays...The good news is that the third issue is about 1/2 full and we expect to get it out in a timely manner. If the 1st issue was all about figuring out how to do things I think the second issue was about finding the resolve to keep going. The third issue should be the best yet. Mike and I are reinvigorated and ready to move forward.

Recent Reading

I've continued reading Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey/Maturin novels. I'm on The Truelove. Reread some Lord Dunsany stories. That guy had one heck of a vivid imagination.

And Finally
Well, I've broken through the barrier now, hopefully I can keep this up.

Peace,
Raphael

My daily reads

2006-05-23T08:42:00.000-05:00

In imitation of Philippa and because Alda left me a comment, here are some blogs/forums I read.

Deacon Raphael (no relation, chuckle) has just posted a tear jerker.

Waiter is one heck of a writer and his posts are always full of humanity and humor.

I've recently joined Monachos.net and have been a little disappointed. I was hoping for more discussion.

I've been reading Orthodork, wondering if it would provide the irregular daily Orthodox discussion I didn't find in Monachos. I like the posts and the potential is there for regular conversation, but its not frequent.

I regularly read a few gaming sites like Treasure Tables Blog and Forum and The Great White Games/Pinnacle Forum.

I've enjoyed the Orthodox-Convert list at Yahoo for years, but now it just seems to be the same set of discussions over and over. I guess it should be as new converts join, but it no longer interests me. Plus the volume of posts is a little high for my taste.

If you know of a fairly active, friendly Orthodox forum pass it along.

No promises

2006-05-22T08:23:00.000-05:00

Just looked over some of my blog archives. Dang do I feel guilty about my lack of posting. Not that anybody reads this (well, hopefully I still have the Faithful Four TM), but I was hoping that a this would provide a more convenient method of keeping a journal.

I am going to try the "three things" method again along with something I regularly enter in my paper journal: the weather.

1) A blog I read regularly is The Iceland Weather Report. Sounds innocuous enough doesn't it. It is a nearly daily blog of what's going on in Iceland (of which I am obsessed) and the weather for that day.

2) The whole Magazine Thing is hard. Between all our other responsibilities, this is getting squeezed out. Frankly I am pretty burnt out on it. This weekend I'm going camping with Mike or alone and am looking forward to the relaxation. I need it.

3) I recently aquired a really cool book at my friendly neighborhood used bookseller. It is simply called Sailing Ships and is very detailed and richly illustrated. It spans ships from the medieval Cog (the northern version being really just an improved longship) to the training ships of the early 20th century.
I also found parts two and three of Mervyn Peake's Gormenghast Triology, UK edition paperbacks. I love finding treasures at the used bookstore, usually I just find junk.

Gray and 60 as I drove to work today. Pretty good chance of rain. High in the low 70s.

The Spirit Moves, pt 2

2006-05-12T08:40:00.000-05:00

[If you haven't read part one, do so now.]
And now I am being pulled back to life. I begun reading and enjoying Apostle to Zaire about Blessed Father Cosmas of Grigoriou.

And it occurred to me that contrary to claims, being Orthodox isn't hard. I don't know about you, but sometimes, in moments of despair, I think, "Lord, why Orthodox. I coulda been happy as a Baptist. Its so easy." But that's not true. 1)I wouldn't have been happy and 2)Orthodoxy is easier.

Oh sure there are more "things to do" than in Protestant churches. Vespers, Confession, Liturgy, Fasting, services at all hours of the day, venerate this and venerate that, get the priests blessing, prayer rule, etc. But we know what to do. That was always my problem before becoming Orthodox. I had no idea what to do. I knew going to church on Sunday wasn't enough. But The Church, in her wisdom, lays out for what we need to do to follow Christ. And where there is some flexibility she provides us with a guide who can offer advice.

So, I am going to talk to Father soon about the whole chapel thing and get his input. I've been hesitant until I could find a permenant spot--either at a home I own, or in agreement with the land owner. But now...well I'm still renting but things have changed somewhat.

Since this recent "reawakening" I've been twice confronted with this quote:

"The spread of Christ's faith ought to be near and precious to the heart of every Christian. In this work every member of the Church ought to take a lively and heart-felt interest. "
-St. Tikhon of Moscow

As Buffalo Springfield sang (in an admittedly different context), "There's something happening here."

The Spirit Moves, pt One

2006-05-11T14:53:00.000-05:00

Signs Point to Yes
I know it may be a little silly to begin this post with a quote from the Magic 8-ball, but isn't drawing lots an ancient version of everyone's favorite childhoood prognostication device?

Anyway...
I can't recall if I've previously mentioned this but, Father Stephen has Valdyka's blessing to set up chapels or shrines around the area. These would be served by a caretaker who would read Reader's Vespers a couple times per week. Bascially it would serve to 1)sanctify the area and 2)make a greater Orthodox presence in East Tennessee. Nothing has really happened along these lines, but the idea lingers. I have this dream of founding a mission in my hometown and this Chapel/Shrine would be the first step in that direction.

[Aside: I subscribe to the Field of Dreams theory of evangelism: build it and they will come. If I have a chapel and start having services, the Lord will send others to join me.]

I have been keeping an eye out for a place to put the Shrine, but to no avail. As a renter I really didn't think it would work for me to have it at my house. And so I let the idea...ferment. I came back to it from time to time. But always I knew that if it was God's will and in God's time, I would know. I wouldn't be able to avoid it.

* * *

In the past few days I've been in a funk. Just got the blues. Spiritually I was in the dumps. I couldn't read anything edifying without my eyes crossing in boredom and my prayer rule consisted on Mealtime and bedtime with the kids. Real poor. Then I remembered something Fr. Thomas Hopko said in one of his taped talks. "Sometimes, when things aren't going your way it's because you're not doing what God wants."

Several months ago, when I re-approached the subject of Paul's baptism with Lainey and she consented, things turned around very quickly. I knew that I had to give my son to the Lord. I still know it. Finally admitting it and doing something about it cleared the spiritual logjam I was caught in. I honestly believe that someday he will be my spiritual father. [But that's another post.]

So I was thinking about being blue and what I needed to do and whammo! Prayer. It's easy, just ask Christ to take it from you, give your burdens to him. And this haze that had settled in my mind cleared. I prayed for a while and took a shower. Suddenly it dawned on me: it is time to build the Chapel. It was that clear. Kind of like I was having a conversation with someone and suddenly understood their point. I just smiled and said, "I am supposed to get to work on the chapel aren't I." I had, in fact, already been planning on building a work shed for my mower and other implements of destruction.

continued in Pt 2.

Crusades, on my mind

2006-05-11T14:44:00.000-05:00

After looking for something to read at Books-A-Million I settled on The Fourth Crusade and the Sack of Constantinople by Jonathan Phillips. Seems pretty good so far, but like popular notions of the crusades, Phillips doesn't seem to realize that the Crusades were wars of Liberation; at least that was the intent. Granted, the Crusaders failed to respect the native Christians. Nonetheless, the Crusaders believed they were liberating the Holy Lands from the Muslims. And they were. The "Middle East" or Levant or Outremer were Christian Lands. The great sees of Alexandria, Antioch, and Jerusalem, were all ancient seats of Chirstianity. Here's a map of Europe in 526.

The pink is the Roman Empire--some call it Byzantine. Regardless, it quite obviously includes much of what the Crusaders were trying to "conquer."

Here is a good article on the Crusades:
http://www.crisismagazine.com/april2002/cover.htm

Compare the map above with this one:

Uganda's Children. Lord have mercy!

2006-04-26T14:34:00.000-05:00

I have a spot in my heart saved for Africa. I don't know why. Someday I am going to go on a mission trip to Africa, probably through the OCMC. I feel as sure of this as I was about converting to The Holy Orthodox Church.

In the meantime I found this. It is about a movie and a movement called Invisible Children.
The rough cut of the movie is here.

I don't really have the words right now. Instead I'll say. Christ is Risen! Indeed He is Risen! Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.

The most important thing I do is be a good father to my children. One of the most fulfilling/fun activities I've had in the past few years is the privilege of coaching my daughter's soccer team. I love kids. I love being around them. And this just breaks my heart.

Holy Theotokos save us!

Do something. Tell your friends, donate time and money. Pray, most importantly pray.

On charity

2006-04-12T15:54:00.000-05:00

The discussion at Orthodorks went about where AI suspected it would. Good.

Please for give me if I stumble through this, I'm still unsure of my footing.
To me our obligation as Christians is spelled out in a few key places:

Luke 10 25-37, Parable of the Good Samaritan
25 And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, "Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?"
26 He said unto him, "What is written in the law? How readest thou?"
27 And he answering said, "`Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind, and thy neighbor as thyself.'"
28 And He said unto him, "Thou hast answered right; this do, and thou shalt live."
29 But he, wanting to justify himself, said unto Jesus, "And who is my neighbor?"
30 And Jesus answering said, "A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his raiment and wounded him and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 And by chance there came down a certain priest that way. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32And likewise a Levite, when he was at the place, came and looked on him and passed by on the other side. 33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came to where he was. And when he saw him he had compassion on him, 34 nd went to him and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own beast, and brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 And on the morrow when he departed, he took out two pence, and gave them to the host and said unto him, `Take care of him; and whatsoever thou spendest more, when I come again I will repay thee.'
36Which now of these three, thinkest thou, was neighbor unto him that fell among the thieves?"
37And he said, "He that showed mercy on him." Then said Jesus unto him, "Go and do thou likewise."

Matthew 25:34-40
34 Then shall the King say unto them on His right hand, `Come, ye blessed of My Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I hungered, and ye gave Me meat; I was thirsty, and ye gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and ye took Me in; 36 naked, and ye clothed Me; I was sick, and ye visited Me; I was in prison, and ye came unto Me.'
37 Then shall the righteous answer Him, saying, `Lord, when saw we Thee hungering and fed Thee, or thirsty and gave Thee drink? 38 When saw we Thee a stranger and took Thee in, or naked and clothed Thee? 39 Or when saw we Thee sick, or in prison, and came unto Thee?'
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, `Verily I say unto you, inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these My brethren, ye have done it unto Me.'

**************

Pretty clear stuff there: love your neighbor, your neighbor includes your enemies and you should show them mercy, feed the hungry, give drink to the thirsty, take in strangers, clothe the naked, visit the sick and imprisoned. What else? Hold demonstrations to protest how immigrants are treated? No, show them mercy, if they are in need give them succor. Not as a class, as individuals. I'm coming to think this is one facet of Christianity should be personal and individual. Give succor, show mercy, simply love on a personal scale.

Should we disengage from any organized charity? No, not necessarily. But we shouldn't allow that to be the only way we engage with the least of our brethren. Likewise, we don't need to go out of our way to find people to love. We need only live our life in a God-pleasing way, treating those we encounter with the Love of God flowing from us.

St. Theophan the Recluse said as much in a letter. His spiritual child was asking what charity fellowships she should join, should she be doing more. The Saint said, no, don't go looking for charity, just please God in all that you do. Please God by doing is at hand in a Godly manner.

I am not done with this topic.

Still Here

2006-04-06T13:36:00.000-05:00

Right.
So it's been, what five or six years since my last post. Sheesh, what a loser. I don't deserve a Faithful Four.

Updates: We are moving into my grandmother's house (she died about a year ago). Part of moving was cleaning out her house. As she was a heavy smoker and last redecorated in the earlier Seventies, we had to paint everything and pull up the carpet. The place is looking good, but all the extra work has stretched out The Move to a multi-week endeavor. I pray this is the last time I ever have to move.

MZSFR is about to publish the second issue! Woot! It's bigger and better than the first one. The downside is that with the move going on we've basically been on hiatus for about three weeks. We're behind our publication schedule, but hopefully it will be worth the wait.

Paul, age 3, is starting to sound Orthodox. We've been reading How the Monastery Came to Be on Top of the Mountain by Alvin Alexi Currier and The Story of Mary the Mother of God by Dorrie Papademetriou (I was going to give you a link, but keep getting an error when I try to reach St Vlad's Press, they publish it). Now he knows the "Fee-oh-toh-kos" when we see her. And he even know that she is Jesus's mommy. Kewl.

Sophie, age 10-in-one-week, is another story. She has shown no interest in Orthodoxy at all. This is a kid who loves history, thinks Native Alaskans are cool (Julie of the Wolves, Island of the Blue Dolphin), and once told me that my church was more like heaven than mom's. I am at a loss.

Stacy just posted a new entry at Orthodorks that I've been thinking a lot about lately. I'll keep it in mind to post soon. In the meantime, maybe they'll get a good discussion going.

Philippa has tagged me for a meme. I'll do it. But my responses wont be all that interesting.

1. How many bibles are in your home?
Hmm. Five or six.

2. What rooms are they in?
They were in the living room and my office. Now they're in boxes.

3. What translations do you have?
NKJV, KJV, RSV, NIV

4. Do you have a preference?
RSV, except for the Nativity passages, which sound blasphemous unless I hear them in King James English. Thank Charles Schultz.

5. Nominate an interesting verse:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
Reminds me of a sermon Father gave comparing the beatitudes and the definition of Love as describing God is and how we should strive to be. Really helped me keep perspective in my own mixed household. Especially: "Love...bears all things, believes al;l things, endures all things."

Islam Unveiled

2006-03-21T08:55:00.000-05:00

Today in Afghanistan Abdul Rahman faces death for converting to Christianity.
I spotted it here and then saw this.
Here's another source:
Chicago Tribune

Didn't American troops go to Afghanistan to end an extermist regime? I sure hope King George gets on the horn to Hamid Karzai and his Warlord cronies.

I imagine most of the faithful four* are not fooled by King George's claim--prompted by his Saudi "uncles" and "cousins"--that Islam is a religion of peace being hijacked by extremists. Yeah, and the mafia was a Sicilian-American social club taken over by more criminally minded members.

Sheesh.
Lord have mercy. Lord have mercy on Abdul Rahman.

*-the Faithful Four are the four or so readers who, for whatever reason, read my blog.

Today's Trio

2006-03-20T15:34:00.000-05:00

Eine
Ain't confession great? I mean how do Protestants get by without it? When you're in a rut, spiritually, what else can you do? Without confession I probably would've stopped trying a long time ago.
'Nuff said.

Zwei
They Might Be Giants is playing in Knoxville's Sundown in the City free concert series! Sophie and I will be there with bells on! She says her favorite bands are They Might Be Giants, Old Crow Medicine Show, and Jack Johnson. We saw OCMS last year (and she got the band to autograph her T-shirt), maybe Jack will come to Knoxville soon.

Drei
Please pray for us as we move. It's only up the street, but there is a mountain of stuff to be done before we can move in.

The Bqmnzmp Gazette Gossip Column

2006-03-08T15:02:00.000-05:00

I finally use those crazy words. Your submissions are italicized.

Madame Czsffj, the infamous Romanian Cabaret dancer,
was seen recently in the company of
The Ufemlula of Zanzibar. He is widely known
To be in league with Commandant Phyabrsr, who,
sources say, was responsible for the attack
on the Vyjnzicy compound.

The Pibjglt tribe defended the compound admirably,
but the Commandant's forces were too strong.
Chieftain Xmyjh was taken prisoner and later
ransomed to his brother, the Witch-doctor Rkxubt.

The dancer and the Zanzibari noble
were last seen in a temple in Vqihxbrt,
where it is rumored nuptials are being planned.

Audio Books, Faith and Faithfulness, and Poetry

2006-03-08T14:15:00.000-05:00

Been a long time ain't it.
Blogrims. Plain and simple.

One.
Been listening to Stephen King's Dark Tower magnum opus in audio book form on my daily commute. I'm on book 3, The wastelands, and I am loving it.

My own reading style borders on skimmming. Sometime I read too fast and miss colorful, but non-plot related details. Like Oy's voice: low and gruff. Listening to the book has forced me to hear every word. If I were in school, I'd be very tempted to use audio books for any literature assignment I had. And I am a serious reader. I never thought I'd be such a fan of audio books. But really, isn't it like having mom or dad read to you, except now the stories are all grown-up.

Two.
Faith and Faithfulness.
When he followed The Lord's command to leave his ancestral home, Abraham was exhibiting his faithfulness. When he followed The Lord's command to sacrifice his son, Abraham was exhibiting his faithfulness.

Not Faith. Faith is what you believe. Faithfulness is how you act on that belief. I can't imagine ever losing my Faith. I have no doubts about any part of the Creed. But most often I don't act that way. Especially recently.

Oh, it's nothing dramatic. And maybe it's more insiduous because it's not dramatic. My faithfulness is way down. Oh, we still go to Liturgy on Sundays, but I'd much rather read a book or go to a Chinese Restuarant than go to the Akathist on Tuesdays. And reading, not interested. Oh, I'm reading plenty. Just nothing particularly spiritually noursihing. My reading is like a pickle: it tastes good but doesn't have any nutritional value.

So pray that my heart will soften and I wil get my butt back in gear. Please.

Three.
Mike and I were interviewed by a local newspaper recently. I enjoyed it as much as I thought I would. What an ego stroke! Someone asking me questions about me and stuff I love? Bring it on. I could talk for hours! The interview went well.

While we were waiting for Mike, Liz (the interviewer) asked me if I ever wrote poetry.

"Well," I replied, "In High School I thought I wrote poetry. I have since realized the error of my belief."

She mentioned being put off by the esoteric reputaion poetry has (and this from someone who had won the Knoxville Writer's Guild Robert Burns Poetry Award--so I listened). She mentioned Billy Collins' poetry and I said I almost always like what Garrison Keilor reads on the Writer's Almanac. I mentioned Ted Kooser (although I couldn't remember his name). It got me thinking about poetry.

So I wrote one yesterday. Then I proptly sent it to a magazine as a submission. Here it is:

I Want an Office With a Window
By Ryan Shelton

The florescent lights, the computer's fan
and the air conditioner's gentle murmur
are all the sounds I hear.
They aspire to be crickets and whippoorwills
in the meadow of my standard government issue office.

A box labeled, "Personal desk starter kit"
raises my monitor to eye level.
How can "21 indispensable office products
in one convenient kit"
be personal?

I sincerely doubt its merits, but it was fairly spontaneous, has two levels of meaning, and even now I feel pretty good about it.

So I am writing ~~poetry~~ something that resembles poetry.

Ack! 6 days...

2006-02-16T14:19:00.000-05:00

...since my last post.

I've had the blogrims lately. That's a word I'm inventing. Here is the dictionary entry:
Main Entry: blog·grim
Pronunciation: 'bläg-gr&m
Function: noun
Etymology: Modern English blog combined with megrim.
1 a : lack of enthusiasm about blogging. b : condition when a blogger has nothing to say and no desire to say it.

'Kay so there's one.
***
Here's another:
Some Orthodox blogger (sorry I can't remeber who) was pretty vocal about the whole "cartoon" issue. One of his complaints went like this:
"Gosh darn and what about all the abuse the modern media heaps on Christianity. There's that "creative expression" [I won't call it art] that involves an image of Our Lord and a jar of urine and that one that involves an image of the Theotokos and a pile of elephant dung. What about that!"

Tough, I say. Show me where the scriptures say being a Christian gets you the easy life. Ask Job if he thought it was easy remaining true to his faith. Or any of the apostles or thousands of martyrs who where killed for thier faith.

Christ did not promise happiness or an easy life, but rather struggle and adversity. read the lives of the Saints and tell me they had it easier as they increased in theosis.

St. John of Kronstadt was despised by much of the establishment.

Likewise with St. John of San Francisco, heck they even took him to court and accused him of embezzlement.

St. Raphael was removed from the Altar at the Antiochian church in Moscow (where he was it's priest-in-charge) for standing up to the corrupt election of the new Patriarch of Antioch. He was later arrested in New York for inciting a riot. Turns out the Melkite Catholics didn't like having an Orthodox priest in town, drawing worshipers from their own edifcaces.

I have touched upon this in a previous post. here is the recap:
1) Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (matt 5:10)
2) Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
(Matt 5:11-12)

Does this prayer by Saint Nikolai of Ohrid and South Canaan strike you as the words of a man who expects "The World" to be kind toward Christians?
***
Since this one is so long, I'll only post two today. Plus I've the blogrims! ;-)

Typewriter update

2006-02-10T00:55:00.000-05:00

Like anyone cares. :-)

Okay after looking at my machines I have some more definitive indentifications.

Granpa's Royal is c. 1949. It is a Royal KMG (who knows what the initials stand for).

The other Royal, purchased at a Church summage sale is a Royal HH, c. 1955. Mine is a dark gray/brown.

The Smith-Corona is a Silent c. 1953 (precursor to the Silent Super).

The Luddite

2006-02-09T12:50:00.000-05:00

Wind power, manual typewriters, and a rotary phone

Well I aksed about the sailboat and the secretary thinks it will auctioned at the Mardi Gras party. (This is a large Catholic church) Oh, well. If you know of anyone with a sailboat that needs a loving home (and willing to work with me on payment) please point them this way.

When I was at Chattacon someone was admiring the typewriter font on the cover of MZSFR. It's called 1942 Report. She mentioned she is a font geek. I said that I was too, expecially typewriter fonts. She collects typewriters, she said. I replied that I didn't really collect them, but that I had three. "You collect them," she said with a smile.

For some reason I was thinking about that today, and thought I'd share it. I have two like this:
(A post-war Royal, mine aren't nearly as shiny)

And one like this: (Smith-Corona Silent Super mid 1950s)

Here's a geeky luddite's typewriter keyboard. It still works as a typewriter. Man this is too kewl

Our phones are all on the fritz, save an old black rotary phone that is part of my retro (yeah, I'm no luddite, I'm retro) collection. I love having it on my desk. And you cant beat the heft of a real telephone.

And, to go with your typewriter keyboard, how about a cellular bakelite rotary phone!

All over the map

2006-02-08T15:25:00.000-05:00

More than three to make up some ground.

Bitten again--I was driving to lunch and WHAM! I saw a Catalina 22 parked in a church parking lot. I immediately wanted to sail. I went into the office to inquire about her disposition. The sect'y had no information, so I'll return tomorrow. There's no sign and it has an '06 registration so I doubt its for sale, but...it can't hurt to ask.

Instaed I went to the bookstore and bought a copy of Small Craft Advisor. O! To dream!

Work has been really busy. It's cutting into my blogging time. But really, I do most of my blogging from work. As soon as I can I will be using your word verifications to write something...
I am the librarian at St. Anne Church (although at about 500 books "library" is stretching it) and I've been placing cards (yay!) in books and thinking about how to organize. Right now I have these categories:
- History
- Introduction
- Icons
- Biographies, Letters, Journals, Memoirs
- Lives of Saints
- Patristics
- Theology
- Liturgics
- Childrens
- Spiritual Life/Prayer
- Other (non-Orthodox specific titles)
I'm not sure if that makes the most sense but it's what I've got. My biggest problem is not having enough space. Every time I go through the shelves I find something new and interesting and I'd love to have the room to put books on display to encourage library usage. (Wow this one is especially mundane. I'll post a Forth item to make up for it.)

Soccer season is fast approaching and I am not sure if I want to coach again. I've loved coaching Sophie's team for two seasons, but dang if it doesn't get tiring. I'd like to take Fr. Justin's class this spring instead. Sophie definitely wants me to coach and some of the other parents have asked me if I was coaching so...guess I will. Hopefully the new leadership will make it easier on us coaches.

What do you think about the Mohammed cartoon? (You can see it here) I've heard a lot of NPR coverage and Michael Savage's take on it and I'm still not sure. There is absolutely no justification for the violence and destruction coming from angered Muslims. Nonetheless, I suspect that violent protest is the only kind they know, so...no surprise there.
According to the Wikipedia article, "although the Danish press is free to satirise, a 2004 report by the European Network Against Racism concluded that a disproportionate amount of time and space is devoted to negative reporting on ethnic minorities. Within the Danish media spectrum, Jyllands-Posten [the original publisher. -Rapheal] was singled out as being particularly anti-immigrant.

How could some of these "political" cartoons be anything but inflammatory. Is that responsible use of free speech?

Granted the response is, as I said, unjustified, but the anger and shock is certainly understandable. Or not. I'm still sitting on the fence.

One of the Best books Ever.

2006-02-03T14:32:00.000-05:00

One thing. I meant to publish the first one Friday...

A fellow wordsmith and lover of good writing recently gave me a copy of The Elements of Style Illustrated. It is great. I've been dipping in from time to time to draw a rule or tip like cool water from a well.

My all time favorite is:
17: Omit needless words.

The rule itself is an example of the rule. If that ain't poetry...

Here is another:
6. Do not overwrite.
Rich, ornate prose is hard to digest , generally unwholesome, and sometimes nauseating. If the sickly-sweet word, the overblown phrase are your natural expression, as is sometimes the case, you will have to compensate for it by a show of vigor, and by writing something as meritorious as the Son of Songs, which is Solomon’s.

When writing with a computer, you must guard against wordiness.
The click and flow of a word processor can be seductive, and you may find yourself adding a few unnecessary words or even a whole passage jus to experience the pleasure of running your fingers over the keyboard and watching your words appear on the screen. It is always a good idea to reread your writing later and ruthlessly delete the excess.

czsffj xmyjh

2006-01-27T08:49:00.000-05:00

I have a creative idea for the word verification words (are they really words, in Blogese maybe). If you post a comment, could you post your word verification along with it.

Thanks.

Sorry, busy day, no three things.

Reading, Listening, Recommending

2006-01-26T16:41:00.000-05:00

Okay, I missed yesterday, but I am determined to keep this up. Here's today's three:

If you've been with me long you may remember my post about how my mind flits from one thing to another.
Case in point: The Vladimir book I mentioned a while back. I was loving that book. And I got sidetracked onto another book and whoa...what happened. I need to pick it up again. Hmm. Maybe after Darwinia, which I picked up at the used bookstore because I liked the blurb. After that maybe Vladimir.

I'm listening to Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire as I write this. This is great disc. It's a little like Squirrel Nut Zippers, but more and less so. (Figure that one out!) You can hear some samples at emusic. I wish I knew more stuff like this. Traditional jazz with fiddles and guitars and banjos. Yay!

I previewed Anne Rice's book Christ The Lord a while back. After reading I must say I am really impressed. She does a splendid job of handling the question of Christ's Divinity and Self-knowledge. (Did the 8 year-old Jesus know Whe He was?) I would recommend this book wholeheartedly. The story is told entirely from Jesus's eyes in a fairly informal tone.

Forced Blogging Part 2

2006-01-24T15:37:00.000-05:00

In defense of a Duke, a little about Luke, and Larry the Cuke.

I just read an old news item about Ben Jones’ reaction to the new Dukes of Hazzard movie. [That's a lotta links in one short sentence.] Cooter was not happy. The context in which I found this story was a blog whereing the blogger was interspersing his own insulting/humorous comments into the story. I wont link it because it was borderline PG-13/R for language and sexual innuendo. Appearantly so is the movie.

Mr. Jones was pretty strident is his condemnation of the movie for sex, drugs, and foul language. He said that none of the original cast wanted anything to do with it after seeing the script. Bravo Ben Jones.

One of Jones's comments that the blogger attacks is that there was a moral compass on the original show. Indeed, Jones is right. Both The Dukes of Hazarrd and The A Team were hour-long morality plays. They taught us that it was never okay to fight wickedness and injustice with wickedness and injustice.

Were Bo and Luke paragons of decency? No, but they did the right thing. The stood up for those weaker than themselves. Yeah they bent the law, but the law in Hazzard was already pretty crooked. But even the crooked Boss Hogg was not evil, just greedy. It was usually his greed that gave an oppurtunity to the villian (almost always an outsider--see how conservative this show is!) to work evil.

And boys of my generation we watched these role models (come-on they were good looking, kewl, drove fast, and chicks digged 'em) do the right thing week after week.

I, like many Star Wars fans, have been hugely disappointed by the recent trilogy. Instead of analyzing why, I'll refer you to this great essay:
http://www.strangehorizons.com/2005/20051003/star-wars-a.shtml

Okay, so I did it for the rhyme. So sue me. I do happen to love VeggieTales. At one time we were all up on the latest and had all the videos. Sophie outgrew them and Paul is just starting to get there. He's seen one or two and likes them. The tunes are just so darn catchy. Even if you don't have kids, or your kids are too old, you should give VeggieTales a try. They are hilarious.

Three things

2006-01-23T16:54:00.000-05:00

An effort to get back into blogging after publishiung took up all my time.

I just stumbled onto a http://neekole.com/archives/2006/01/15/nicoles-five-the-debut/ wherein the blogger has forced herself to blog five things per day. Thoughts, reflections whatever. (One of those odd sites that come up in an obscure Google search). I thought that might be a way to make me do this more as well. I will only do three.

Here are today's three:

I went to Chattacon this weekend as a dealer and panelist from Mount Zion Press. (Can you find my name on the page without using ctrl-f.) We only sold 5 copies, but the shaking hands and meeting small press folk was worth it. We were only there for Saturday, so we missed the schmoozing of the parties and Consuite. Mike and I are going to try for Hypericon in June and plan to stay at least one night.

I currently have two stories submitted and am anxiously awaiting the rejection letters. One of the stories has been rejected several times, but doggonit, I think it’s a good un. I have about 3 or 4 other stories I need to finish and get into circulation as well. I’m reading Getting Things Done by David Allen, so maybe I’ll get them done soon.

I have my Outlook at work set up to remind me to go home. Since I mostly work alone, it is highly likely I would just be trucking along and look up to realize I’m 20 minutes late leaving. Not a big deal, except my kids and wife all expect me home at 5:30ish.

See, there we go. Three things. Nothing terribly amazing or funny, or smart, or…crap why did I do that again. Oh yeah. I’ll start keeping a list on paper and only blog those brilliant thoughts you have when you’re far away from your computer.

‘Til tomorrow.

the Fours

2006-01-23T16:38:00.000-05:00

Having been woefully negligent and tagged by Philppa with a Meme, let me then resume blogging.

4 Movies You Could Watch Over and Over
1. Big Lewbowski
2. Master and Commander: Far Side of the World
3. The Princess Bride
4. Lawrence of Arabia

4 Places You Have Lived
1. Norris, Tennessee
2. Berea, Kentucky
3. Long Beach, California
4. Lexington, Tennessee

4 TV Shows You Love To Watch
1. Lost
2. Earl
3. The Office
4. M*A*S*H

4 Places You Have Been On Vacation
1. St. Augustine, FL
2. Edisto, SC
3. Oak Island, NC
4. Garden City, SC

4 Websites You Visit Daily
(other than blogs)
1. Google (many, may times)
2. Order of the Stick
3. Amazon.com
4. imdb.com (not intentionally, but it seems like something always come up)

4 Of Your Favorite Foods
1. A nice thick, bloody steak
2. Chicken Szechwan
3. Chocolate Cake
4. Popcorn

4 Places You Would Rather Be Right Now
1. Home with my kids
2. At church.
3. The Beach
4. Camping

Please forgive me...

2006-01-11T11:26:00.000-05:00

It is with great embarrassment that I return, empty-handed, no essay, no prospect for the essay, no worthwhile post, just shuffling in shame.

I really did mean to write that essay. And I will. Mike and I have been really busy with MZSFR and I've had little time to think about much else. Also, I often blog from work and works been pretty busy lately too. Non of that excuses my failure to keep my commitment to my faithful four.

I hope you don't abandon me 'cause I doubt I would keep this up without the occasional comment. (The whole vanity thing I guess. Blogging is at the same time humbling and prideful) The pride part is obvious, but I believe it can be humbling because you are putting yourself out in an open arena with no safeguards. Anyone can come along and call you out for the idiot you are. Still, as one attempting to be a writer, it is a good way to get used to having your work in front of strangers...but I digress.

Please accept my apologies. I will move on now and post on other things. I really do plan to come back to that essay, and when I do, it'll be here first.

p.s. I just used Bloggers spell checker and...he-he-he..the words "blog," and "blogging," are not recognized. ;-)

Christmas Letter from the family

2005-12-30T09:27:00.000-05:00

Every year part of my family exchanges gag gifts from an imaginary extended family named Relaford. In addition to the tackiest cheapest gifts we can find, we also write a Christmas letter from our alter-ego family. The Relafords are every negative stereo type you’ve ever heard about Hillbillys. If you've heard the song "Merry Christmas From The Family" by Robert Earl Keen (or the more popular, but not nearly as good cover by Montgomery Gentry) you'll know the sort of folks the Relafords are. Since we are pretty close to the source (we all have family that shares characteristics with the Relafords) none of thius is done is any kind of mean-spirited way. We can make fun of our own family and friends, but don’t you try and do it—you might have a feud on yore hands!

Anyway, I thought my faithful four might enjoy the letter I wrote this year. It was originally hand written on pages torn from a “South Beach Diet” journal. In the date place on each page RayBob (my alter-ego) has written x-mas. (Tacky paper choice is also part of the fun) All misspelling and poor grammar and syntax is intentional.

To Air Family,
What a year its done been! We done had a Su-namee, two Hurrricanes, a war, and much else besides. And we got a kitty-kat.

Chyna Sue and Payton is doing good. Chyna Sue is in the 2rd grade now. I bleeve she’s only the second Relaford to go so far so fast (She’s only 9 year old). We entered her in this years “Miss Hot to Trot” pageant. Its where 8-10 year olds dress like they’re Britney Speers or one of the other MTV girls and parade they stuff around for the judges. If they win they get their pitcher took and put on coupons for “Hot to Trot Tater Tots.” We came in 2nd at the districk. That’s like two or three or four counties put together. We woulda come in 1st but that other girl could riley work them spike heels. We figgered Chyna Sue could keep a practicing and maybe be a drink girl at the Indian casino in a few years.

Little Payton is still chasing the dog, but now he’s got a cat what he can foller too. His arms looked like his momma’s red fishnets from where that cat scratched him. He finally learnt that cat don’t play the same as that dog.

Eulis was leveling his camper in air back yard from where his friend Weasel hit it with his Brat. He was drinking and before he could chug that beer that camper rolled right down the hill into the crick. It just so happens that we got a pregnant naybor named Candi Ledbetter who was getting all worked up and scared over watching FoxNews about the Sunami they had in China. When she looked up and saw that camper floating by, she done fainted dead away. Candi and her baby’s daddy named the baby Sue-Nammy. Ain’t that about as hill-billy as you ever heerd? I mean some people ain’t right. Made me glad to be a Relaford and not a Ledbetter .

Uncle Roscoe was watching on the TV where them folks in New Orluns was getting paid for being flooded so he stopped up all his drains and turned on all the water. Now he ain’t stupid, he took his garden hose and sprayed all around his house with it too. Now, Roscoe lives on a hill and after a few days of that water in his house and him waterin the bank it done slid away and took his house with it. He called the EPA or the FPA or FLEMA or whoever is writin them checks. He told them about how Hurricane Katrita done flooded his house away. They told him that they only help folks what got hit by Katrita and Pine Knob Tennessee didn’t get no hurricane. He’s sleeping in the old Monte Carlo in air back yard now.

Hay Law, I got me a new job. You may remember I done tried farming (pinky mice) and Elvis impersonating. Both jobs failed to yield compensation commiserate with the time and energy investment I was making. Furthermore, neither career lent itself to advancement. Now I’m doing yard work for Jesus. Yep, Jesus Rodriguez cut lawns in uppity nayborhoods. He’s the one what has them signs that say “Jesus mowed this lawn”. I’m really enjoyin it but am a little surprised how much Jesus likes Corona.

I figger since I’m around the Lord 5 days a week we can skip church. ‘Sides that preacher got to talking about how bad drinking, and gambling, and feuding is. So we all got likkered up, bet on who could take the preacher, and started a feud with his kinfolk.

Since I’m working again Felena has past the time with writin a book. After watching Springer for years she finally feels up the the taks of writing a “Ultimate Fan’s Guide to Springer.” She’s been watching about 8 episodes a day (we got em all on tape) to help her write. I don’t know how much she’s got done, but she’s gained 100 pounds, fights all the time, and is always making weird claims about her private life—really not much different than before.

Well, gotta go mail this afore the dirt bike runs outta gas, Felena’s done started it and is waiting to ride me over to town.

Mery Xmas
Ray Bob, Felean
Chyna Sue, Payton
Snot the Dog,
Coon the Cat

13 years and counting

2005-12-28T10:38:00.000-05:00

On December 28th, 1992, I was joined in holy matrimony to Lainey Day. 2 kids, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 1 college degree, 5 cars, 9 addresses, and thirteen years later I am more in love with her than I was when we got married. We were both young, fresh out of high school, with no real world living experience. But we were madly in love. We had previously been high school sweethearts (actually we were best friends for about a year first), but had a falling out. When we reunited it was like that year apart had ironed out some annoying traits from both of us.

Of my close group of high school guy friends, four of five are divorced with children. Of my wife's closest friends one is divorced, and two have never been married. There's something significant here. I should add that most of the guys prefer being married (or in a long-term committed relationship that so closely resembles marriage that only Tennessee's lack of a common-law marriage, prevents it from being so).

PS. I have not forgotten my promised essay. I plan to have it finished before Theophany.

A Happy Announcement

2005-12-14T08:54:00.000-05:00

Mount Zion Press, of which I am a co-owner and Chief Editor, is pleased to announce that the first issue of Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review is now available. It is 156 pages af great stories and poems. If so inclined, you can purchase a copy at www.mountzionpress.com/subscribe.html .

On a personal note, this has been, is, and will be a labor of love. Reaching this point is especially gratifying given all of the problems we've encountered along the way. We received our first subscription (you can buy single issues or a subscription) not 30 minutes after putting up the PayPal feature on our website. After the mind-numbing struggle its been since October, to finally have a copy in hand is quite nice.
Now to kick back and watch the money roll in! Ha ha snort chortle. Yeah! As we are hand binding every copy, it would be bittersweet.

I am still working on the essay. Stay tuned.

On the Nativity of Our Lord Jesus Christ, 1

2005-12-09T00:48:00.000-05:00

Part One of Five
An examination of the Orthodox story of Christ's Nativity, how and why this differs from the Western story, and what the significance is of the same.

Introduction
Last year at Christmastime I read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson to my daughter. I have previously blogged about this, but for completeness, I'll recap my experience here. Like the other times I had read it I was quite moved by the story. This time, however, two things struck me. First, the Herdmans, the villainous clan of kids who terrorize the rest of the characters, really got it. They heard the Gospel and were saved.

Second, and more important to this essay, for the first time I was struck by the falsity (as I perceived it) of the details of the Pageant. The Pageant in the book is the basic Western image of The Nativity. Mary and Joseph are young and poor. They have traveled a long way and are tired and feeling a little lost. (The narrator even comments that "Ralph and Imogene looked like refugees, which Joseph and Mary were, if you think about it.")

This is not the Orthodox icon of the Nativity. (I use the word icon in the broad sense of "image." When used to refer to an Icon in the strict sense, it will be made clear.) How are the Western and the Orthodox icons of The Nativity different? Why are they so? Does it matter? I believe the Western and Orthodox icons of The Nativity are profoundly different, largely arising from changes in the post-Schism West, and have a subtle, but unfortunate consequence in an appreciation of the Incarnation.

A note about sources: I will make some attempt to cite sources for the varied information herein. Unfortunately my only means of researching this article is the Internet. Therefore, some references may be to less than ideal sources. Nonetheless, I believe my thesis is sound.

I hope this pique's your interest. This represents the first time I've tried to write anything like an academic essay in several years, so the gears are a little rusty.

A Visit From St. Nicholas

2005-12-07T08:04:00.000-05:00

On Sunday Saint Nicholas visited St. Anne Orthodox Church. Here is a photo.

Paul is standing just to the Saint's right holding his bag of gold (chocolate) coins.

Anything? Anything at all!?

2005-12-05T14:56:00.000-05:00

Fun with Chinese!

I am a huge fan of the Chinese Buffet. I have one I go to regularly (re: twice a week) where I have a usual table and they know what to bring me to drink. (There's something very comforting about that kind of service and familiarity, but that's another post...)

When I eat Chinese I always ue chopsticks. I'm not sure why...it just makes sense. Heck they cut everything in bite sized pieces for a reason!

Anyway, I've been meaning to share some chopstick wrapper humor with you, my faithful four ™.

On one side we have this text, presented exactly as it appears:

"Welcome to Chinese Restaurant.
Please try your nice Chinese food with chopsticks.
the traditional and typical of chinese glorious history,
And culture."

Okay...I'm not exactly sure what that means.

But here's my favorite. It's long, but I think it is funnier in context:

[Heading]Learn how to use your chopsticks
[There are three illustrations. They make sense and the instructions do a decent job of describing how to hold chopsticks. Next to each illustration is a bit of text.]

Tuck under thumb
and hold firmly

Add second chopstick
hold it as you hold
a pencil

Hold the first chopstick
in original position
move second
one up and down.
Now you can pick
up anything.
[emphasis added]

I tried it and I could only pick up small, light items. Like food.. Go Figure.

He-he-he

Anne Rice's Jesus, preview

2005-12-03T01:08:00.000-05:00

I was at the library returning The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe audiobook when I saw this Anne Rice's latest book on the shelf. It is called Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt. I've not been a big fan of her other books, well truth is I'm not all that big into vampire fiction. Anyway, Iread some good reviews (Orthodox reviews even) and thought I'd take a look.

I have a soft spot for fictionalized Gospels. They never really challenge my understand of Who Christ is, but I find the stories are often pretty compelling. I've not reread Kazantzakis since becoming Orthodox but I remember liking it. One of my favorites is by Jose Saramago. I think that these books helped me see the fully human side of Christ before I was Orthodox. And, as I had no doubts about His divinity, I could compartmentalize the books' skepticism.

Since Mrs. Rice provided an Author's note at the end, I thought it would be helpful to see what her agenda is, who Jese is for her, before reading the book. Her writing the book turns out to be a part of a larger return to the faith. She grew up in a traditional Roman Catholic setting.

She did gobs of research (especially on first century Palestine) and here are some of her comments regarding the skeptical "Who was Jesus" books:

"What gradually came clear to me was that many of the skeptical arguements--arguements that insisted most of the Gospels were suspect, for istance, or written too late to be eyewitness accounts--lacked coherence...Absurd conslusions were reached on the basis of little or no data."
"The whole case for the nondivine Jesus who stumbled into Jerusalem and somehow got crucified by nobody and had nothing to do with the founding of Christianity and would be horrified by it if he knew about it...that case was not made. Not only was it not made, I discovered in this field some of the worst and most biased scholarship I'd ever read."
"And I also sensed something else. Many of these scholars, scholars who appearantly devoted their life to New Testament scholarship, disliked Jeus Christ...I'd never come across this kind of emotion in any other field of research, at least not to this extent."
"The people who go into Elizabethan studies don't set out to prove that Queen Elizabeth was a fool...they don't even apply this sort of dislike or suspicion or contempt to other Elizabethan figures."

So, I am reading on convinced that Mrs. Rice's motives are genuine and a product of her own faith in the Risen Christ.

Some Neat Pics

2005-12-03T00:16:00.000-05:00

From Paul's Birthday Party. I mentioned these about 6 weeks ago. (Sheesh on me!)

Paul with a surprise guest.

Paul with sister Sophie and cousin Allie (r-l).

Paul with his Grandpa (my father-in-law).

Me being tickled by the special guest.

See it to believe it!

2005-11-28T11:30:00.000-05:00

You've got to see this!
Family friendly, work-safe, and sure to bring a smile to your face.

Click Here Now!

Philippa Made Me Do it

2005-11-28T10:56:00.000-05:00

Well, not really. But it's been awhile since my last post and I didn't have anything better. So here goes.

Have you ever...

Smoked a cigarette or tried it: Yes.

Crashed a friend's car: Well... I had a mishap involving a refrigerator and my Father-in-law’s truck..

Stolen a car: No.

Been dumped: Yes, by my wife in High School. Obviously we made up as we will be celebrating our 13th anniversary on Dec. 28th.

Shoplifted: No.

Been fired /laid off: Yes.

Been in a fist fight: Do grade school scrapes count? If not then, no I have not.

Snuck out of your parent's house: Hmm…snuck back in!

Been arrested:No.

Gone on a blind date: No.

Lied to a friend: Yes.

Skipped school: On several occaisions. Once to go to the zoo. As Seniors a group of us skipped school had a party, then went to see Eric Clapton.

Seen someone die: No.

Been to Canada: No.

Been to Mexico: Just barely, Tijuana.

Eaten Sushi: Yes and I loved it. But I refuse to eat it at my local Chinese buffet.

Met someone in person from the internet: Yes. Catherine Kostyn from the Metanoia list came to St. Anne once.

Taken pain-killers: OTC? All the time. I take ibuprofen profusely!

Had a tea party: With my daughter, with cookies and water.

Cheated while playing a game: No that I can remember, but probably sometime in my life.

Fallen asleep at work: Yes, because I am chonically sleep deprived (I am at my best after 11pm.)

Used a fake ID: Never even had a fake ID.

Felt an earthquake: Yes. When living in Long Beach California I woke up one morning and the bunk bed I shared with my brother was shaking. I told him to stop shaking the bed. Then I noticed that things on the shelves were shaking too.

Touched a snake: Yes.

Been robbed: Yes. More than once in the Navy.

Petted a reindeer/goat: Yes, both. The zoo used to have reindeer around Christmas.

Won a contest: I won a Ladies Club poetry contest in High School. Um…nothing else that I can remember

Been suspended from school: No.

Been in a car accident: One big one. I totaled mom’s car by rolling it down a bank into a creek. I had previously been blasé about wearing my seat belt (miraculously I was wearing it then). Since then I have been militant about seatbelts.

Had braces: Nope

Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night: Possibly. Bryer’s Coffee or Mint Chocolate Chip.

Witnessed a crime: I don’t think so.

Swam in the ocean: Dipped my feet in at both shores before I was one. We went to the Atlantic (Pawley’s Island, then Garden City) every summer from infancy to about 18 and quite a few times since (Edisto, St. Augustine, Oak Island). Lived in Long Beach California as a child, plenty of cold Pacific swimming there.

Sung karaoke: Not yet.

Paid for a meal with only coins: Quite possibly while a teen. Two friends and I once spent about 3 hours in a taco bell because they had free refills (not many places did then).

Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose: Yes.

Been kissed under mistletoe: Yes!

Crashed a party: No.

Worn pearls: No.

Jumped off a bridge: No. But I have jumped off a cliff into the lake.

Ate dog/cat food: Yes.

Kissed a mirror: No.

Glued your hand to something: Anytime I use superglue.

Done a one-handed cartwheel: Hah hah hah, snort. Ahem. No.

Talked on the phone for more than 6 hours: Yes. I was at NNTC Millington and my wife wasn’t.

Didn't take a shower for a week: No.

Pick and ate an apple right off the tree: Yes.

Been told by a complete stranger that you're hot: No.

Like philippa, I wont tag anyone. If you do this one, let me know.

Daily Life, A New Obsession, and The New Look

2005-11-22T16:06:00.000-05:00

Daily Life
We were all home Saturday morning and Paul and I were playing. He said he wanted a baby sister.
“Oh,” I said, “is that right.” Real smart, that. I was caught off guard.
“Yeah, I want a baby sister.”
“Do you want a baby sister or a baby brother,” I asked. I wasn’t sure where, if anywhere, he was going with this.
“A baby sister,” he said. “Could we go to the store tomorrow and get one?”
I did not laugh out loud—somehow.
“No. They don’t have babies at stores. God sends mommies and daddies babies.”
That was enough to satisfy his curiosity.

A New Obsession
My faithful four ™ know that I am a gamer (even if their still not sure what that means). Now I wanna be more. I have just discovered that there is a new discipline among independent game designers called RPG Theory. The essays these folks have produced are as good as anything I read in college. Right now there are a few competing theories. Interestingly enough, this is a descriptive theory. That is, RPG Theory is developing a language and framework for describing how people play. I am quickly getting up to speed and loving it.

Here is some sample titles, see if these don’t sound like something right out of a book of scholarly essays:

Ritual Discourse in RPGs
Narrativism: Story Now
Gamism: Step On Up
Simulationism: The Right to Dream
GNS and Other Matters of Role-playing Theory
Story and Narrative Paradigms in Role-Playing Games
Applied Theory

The New Look
As part of my job I have been learning to use cascading style sheets (css). I finally have control over my blog’s appearance! Beware!

Current Detritus

2005-11-16T10:45:00.000-05:00

Random stuff

As I write this I'm listening to the Album "Immortal Memory" by Lisa Gerrard and Patrick Cassidy. The reviewers at Amazon get it right, IMO. It's good background music. It actually sounds quite a bit like a film score. "Dark and subdued" is how I would describe it.
I'm reading a few things right now:
1. Vladimir The Russian Viking by Vladimir Volkoff is a lot of fun. It is conversational and reads more like a novel than a bio/history. I highly recommend this book. I found it at a used bookstore and happily marked it off my amazon wishlist.
2. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Technically I am having Michael York read it to me just like Dad did when I was little. I haven't read it since, but it had been on my radar for rereading. With the movie coming out soon (and boy does it look cool) I decided listening during my commute would be a great way to "read" it.
3. The latest issue of Divine Ascent from the Monastery of St. John The Wonderworker has arrived and it looks like some good reading. I'll pass along anything particularly edifying.
4. Treason's Harbor is the ninth book of the Aubrey/Maturin series. I'm reading them as quickly as the librarian can get them from inter-library loan. If you've never read these books, they are highly regarded in literary circles, not just by naval enthusiasts.
  - "O'Brian has rightfully been compared to Jane Austen, but one wonders if even she would have done justice to 'those extraordinary hallow dwellings, sometimes as beautiful as they were comfortless.' To use one of Stephen's favorite expressions, 'What a Joy!'" -Publishers Weekly
  - "The best historical novels ever written."—Richard Snow, The New York Times
  - "O'Brian has chosen to set his novels in the early 19th century, and to use the genre of the historical novel to say something important and interesting not only about the times, but about a set of passionate human beings. Those who dismiss the historical novel as a piece of pish-tushery should recollect that Tolstoy's War and Peace was also a historical novel."—Helen Lucy Burke, Irish Press, on The Ionian Mission
Recently a friend asked me to pray for them. Friend quoted the Apostle James, the Brother of the Lord, saying, "The prayer of a righteous man avaith much." (James 5:16) The implication, I believe, being that I am a righteous man. I'm not sure how I feel about being called righteous when I know so many ways in which I am not. Yet there is grace at work here that amazes me. Even if I know I am NOT particularly righteous, God allows other to believe me so in order to affect their salvation. I am probably saying this in a muddy, stupid way. I am not talking about being two-faced or deceitful. And, this just occured to me, by God allowing that person to see me as a righteous man, I now have a dose of "Godly guilt" to meet my friend's expectations.
To my friend: thanks for the underserved compliment and a healthy dose of guilt that I am not the person God calls me to be.

Job is going well; can't wait to be paid. With no unemployment benefit and no paycheck until the 23rd, money's very tight.
If you haven't read Stephen Paul's "Pithless Thoughts" blog recently you really should. Start with "I Went to Prison Today" , you can skip "I Had a Dinner Date", and read "Bad Company" (especially good) and "Harsh or Real?"
Alright, that should answer for now. Have a blessed Nativity Fast.

P. S. I read every comment and honestly enjoy getting them. I am sorry I don't respond to them as much as others. Be assured I appreciate your pats on the back.

Tagged!

2005-11-08T14:52:00.000-05:00

Philippa has tagged my with this meme:
"MY TOP TEN (OR SO) GREATEST INFLUENCES, OUTSIDE OF GOD AND MY FAMILY MEMBERS.”

In no particular order, then:

As my Spiritual Father, how can I not have Fr. Stephen Freeman on this list?

Michael Poole, my life-long friend and co-creator of MZSFR. Mike and I have known each other since middle school. We were Band Captain and Co-Captain (we both play trombone) in High School. Oddly enough it wasn't until after High School, when I returned from my brief stint in the Navy, that we really became good friends. Now I see him at least once a week. He is both my business partner and my creative conscience--that is, he is spurs me on to write.

My Berea Profs
- Duane Smith, PhD. Duane was my first Religion Professor. It was the first year at Berea for both of us. We shared a taste in literature, music and movies. And he ignited a passion for Old Testament studies in me. I was Duane's TA for two years.
- John Wallhauser, PhD. If Duane was my friend, then Dr. Wallhauser was my mentor. He was my advisor and taught the Senior Seminar in Religion. He is a man of great faith and intellect.
- Robert Suder, PhD. I never had a class with Bob, but as his summer research assistant, the skills and experience I gained working on the NSIA, have led directly to my current job. Also, he and his lovely wife put me up in their basement for a month.
Can I use my father-in-law? Well, I'm gonna. I'll limit "family" to immediate, so there. Dennis Day's example of Christian faith and living is largely responsible for my return to Christ. His example is still a shining beacon for me.

A few writers:
- Flannery O'Conner. When I write something, she is my goal.
- Stephen King. Before I defend reflexively, let me point to two great non-fiction books he's writen: Danse Macabre (a exhaustive look at the Horror genre in print and film for the last half of the 20 century) and On Writing (part memior, part how-to). Now about the fiction...there's a reason he's one of the best selling authors ever. He writes some of the best, most believable characters I've read. Doubting? Read Wizard and Glass (Dark Tower IV). It may be the only time I've felt like crying at a character's death.
- H. P. Lovecraft and R. E. Howard defined and created the genre's I love. If you've never actually read Conan, go now and buy this book. As for Lovecraft, I deeply admire his imagination and his work has influenced every horror writer in the last 60 years.
Three Teachers (if I ever get published, I'm going to thank these ladies):
- Mrs. Knowles was my 8th grade English teacher. She was the first one to encourage me to write. When the switch went off in my head and I though, "Hey, I can write too!" Mrs. Knowles was the one flipping it.
- Mrs. ? was my sophomore English teacher. It was she who taught me it was good to be passionate about literature...and grammar! She was the first teacher that connected with me on grammar
Mr. Brown was my band director from 5th grade til graduation. He is a model of hard work and high expectations. He was absolutely passionate (but only because he wanted the best for us) about forming us crazed high schoolers into a near perfect marching band. On our local July Forth celebration, I was honored to "roast" him before he recieved the award for that year. He is a man I truly admire for his devotion to his students (countless unpaid hours), his faith, his family, and his kindness.

I'm going to contemplate and reserve the right to add anyone else later., In the meantime, I tag Mimi, dang Meg already did. Okay, Ian and Mimi! You're it.

Long Silence

2005-11-05T01:42:00.000-05:00

I am sorry for the extended silence here. I have been pretty busy.

The new job is going great. My title is "Publishing Support Specialist" which means jack. There is an online application called SCMS (SCience Management System) that is a standards-based management system. Its kind hard to describe. The simplest way to understand it is to see SCMS as an online storehouse of all documents that are needed to manage DOE Office of Science. Mostly we will be supporting procedure documents. Anyway, we have a technical editor and a programmer. I am the glue that binds the two together. I do a little web design, a little online publishing, a little help desk, and my duties are still evolving. In three words, "It's going great."

Mostly my spare time has been devoted to finalizing the premier issue of Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review. Last week my partner and I had a pleasant shock when we googled "Mount Zion Press" and "Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review". In both searches our website came up first followed by hits at several market lists (only three of which we had given info to) as well as authors spreading our name around the message boards. WooT!

Anyway, I'll have something substantive to write next week.

Thanks to my four loyal readers for hanging in there.

Answered Prayers

2005-10-20T22:53:00.000-05:00

My friends,
On Friday my temporary job filling in for a maternity leave ended. The various Big Cheeses (BC) were all hopeful of finding a job for me within the company, but provided only optimistic possibilities.

On Tuesday I received a call from BC Sybil, asking me to an interview on Wednesday. The interview with BC Frank and two other BCs went quite well. Today BC Sybil called and offered my the job, a permenant one. Of course I accepted.

On November 1st I will begin my first permenant job since July of last year.

Praise the Lord!
Thank you for your prayers and the prayers of whatever Saints you petitioned, especially Saint Xenia of Petersburg.

For proof that God exists

2005-10-17T01:05:00.000-05:00

See www.hubblesite.org

If you have never seen any of the Hubble pictures, you are really missing some of God's most beautiful paintings. Words really do not do justice to these picutres.

The Moon Sings His Praises

2005-10-17T00:48:00.000-05:00

Part of this was originally written Sept. 29, 2001

Tonight is nearly a full moon. After a beautiful cloudless day with a high in the low 70s, tonight is cool, clear and absolutlely autumnal. The light pierces through the trees leaving patches of cool blue-white on the ground. I can actually see the glare of the moonlight on my skin.

What is there about clear nights with a full moon that so transfixes us? We are always amazed at how bright it is. It feels magical and otherworldly, possibly supernatural. It is a paradox: it is nighttime, midnight, yet under a clear sky we can see plainly. There are well defined shadows; the Sun is gone yet we see a radiant disc of sunlight above us. The viel which normally covers our eyes, or rather that we cover our eyes with, is forcibly removed. We can see a magnificence in creation which we normally ignore. Our Divine sight is brought into focus and the normal metaphors given to darkness and night do not apply on these nights. We see beauty where normally we see the frightening unknown.

The sermon today was about the Traditional (re: Orthodox) world view that says that all of creation sings out in praise of God. Not metaphorically or symbolically, but actually. If we had eyes to see and ears to hear, we would recognize the chorus of the rocks and the praises of the trees. The full moon tonight was singing praises and I could almost hear it, or at least I imagined I heard it. Either way, between the butterfly this afternoon (see previos post) and the moon tonight, there is no doubt that God created the Universe and said that is was Good.

[Post script: It was a great sermon (and long in the good Southern way) and I will post a link when it is online.]

File under Daily Life

2005-10-17T00:22:00.000-05:00

I don't usually write "Daily Life" entries, but here's one anyway.

Friday was my last day of employment, again. It was the second Maternity leave I have temped for with the company, a contractor with Dept. of Energy in Oak Ridge. As with the previous time, I did everything I could to make myself indespesible. I think it stuck this time. In my "exit interview" the contract manager said they have two positions which they would like to call me for. The details are still being worked out for both, but the first one might be available as soon as the middle of this week.

Also, I wrote a proposal for a new position that I saw a need for. I discussed it with the Public Affairs Director and he was absolutely gung-ho about it. It actually lines up with his idea about the direction he wants to move the Public Affairs office. Basically everyone who matters wants to get me back and I expect to be called back pretty soon.

Church today was nothing unusual, except that Paul received a birthday blessing. Later this afternoon, we had Paul's birthday party with much family in attendence. I will have some really cool pics of a butterfly we found that was incredibly placid. It seemed unable to fly--probably at the end of its life.

The moon tonight, like the past couple of nights, is remarkably bright. Will post a reflection on that next.

Please pray for me as I look for a new job and hope for a call from the previous employer.

Answering some comments

2005-10-11T10:24:00.000-05:00

I'm too lazy to respond to every comment.

Regarding "Thank God I'm Orthodox" Philippa said:

I dunno Raphael. I'm not sure the phrase "Thank God I'm Orthodox" implies the rest of what you wrote. But then, perhaps for some it does.

Granted, I does not neccesarily imply the negative part, but 1) the temptation to continue the thought is strong and 2)it can easily sound like that was the intent.
At the very least we need to be very careful wne making statements like this.

Regarding "Jonah, the Pissy Prophet" Christina brought up Jonah, a Veggie Tales Movie. I'm a huge VT fan. The kids and I love listenting to the VT tapes in the car.

Now, what's you favorite Veggie Tales Song?
"His Cheeseburger" (Madame Blueberry) and "Oh No! What we Gonna Do" ("Daniel and the Lion's Den" on Where's God When I'm S-scared)
The first is so much like a Meatloaf song that it's scary. The second has They Might Be Giants written all over it. My favorite line is:
We could give him jelly doughnuts,/
Take them all away/
Or we could fill his ears with cheese balls/
And his nostrils with sorbet/
We could use him as a footstool/
Or a table to play Scrabble on/
Then tie him up and beat him up/
And throw him out of Babylon!/

The "Scrabble on" - "Babylon" rhyme is cracked genuis.

Why I'm obessed with Iceland

2005-10-11T10:21:00.000-05:00

Check out the pics from Alda at The Iceland Weather Report.

Thank God I'm Orthodox...

2005-10-06T10:19:00.000-05:00

and not like that Publican.

I've heard more than one person on my OXWOMS group say something like "Thank God I'm Orthodox," and, although they didn't say it, the implication was "...and not like those other Christians."

It immediately brings to mind the parable/story of the Publican and the Pharisee.

9 Also He spoke this parable to some who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and despised others: 10 “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other men—extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week; I give tithes of all that I possess.’ 13 And the tax collector, standing afar off, would not so much as raise his eyes to heaven, but beat his breast, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me a sinner!’ 14 I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke 18: 9-14)

There are ubiquitous pitfalls when converting to Orthodoxy and Phariseeism is certainly a common one. Archbishop Averky, of ROCOR,

clearly saw the two dangerous extremes in church life today, both of which involve 'playing a role' and not letting Orthodoxy penetrate deeply into the heart: on the one hand are the ecumenists, playing the "role" of brotherly-love at any price, no matter how great are the compromises demanded of them; and on the other, the elitists, playing the "role" of knowing better than anyone what Orthodoxy is, of constantly correcting and belittling all that do not agree with their "party." These are the ones, Archbishop Averky explained, that act as though there is no one to defend the Church but themselves, and to defend it they adopt or borrow quite worldly elements and passions "which are hostile to the Church and will rather hasten its fall."

How to avoid either extreme? First, we can avoid the ecumenist pitfall simply by "standing fast in the truth": "wherever the inherited spiritual link of grace going back to the holy Apostles and their successors, the Apostolic men and Holy Fathers, has been broken, wherever various innovations have been introduced in faith and morals with the aim of 'keeping in step with the times,' of 'progressing, ' of not getting out of date and of adapting to the demands and fashions of this world.., there can be no talk of the True Church."

Secondly, in order to avoid formalism and phariseeism we must keep in mind that we Orthodox Christians of the last times "have neither the strength nor the authority to stop Apostasy, as Bishop Ignatius (Brianchaninov) stresses: 'Do not attempt to stop it with your weak hand.., But what then should we do? 'Avoid it, protect yourself from it. and that is enough for you. Get to know the spirit of the times, study it so that you can avoid its influence whenever possible."

We converts have a tendency to try and be most "orthodoxyist" Orthodox, which is sad. Fr. Thomas Hopko talked about this is one of his lectures (On Loving God). Fr. Thomas said he asked Elder Paisios about whether we should be "accommodating" and truncate the services or rigidly adhere to the Tradition. The elder said, "It doesn't matter. You do what the people need to move closer to God." [My horrible paraphrase, the original is much more interesting. Thanks to Karl for the fact checking]

Jonah, the Pissy Prophet

2005-10-04T00:41:00.000-05:00

These are my reflections alone. I have no idea how the Fathers read the book of Jonah. I aim to find out soon and report back.

I wont rehash the entire story of Jonah, but it's really short--two pages in my RSV gift bible--so go and check it out for yourself. (Bible Gateway is where I get all my bible quotes online.) Instead I'd like to highlight a few spots.

In 1:11 the sailors asked Jonah what to do to calm the sea. He had previously told them he was "fleeing the presence of the Lord" (1:10). Is he daft, he just told them he fears "the Lord, the God of Heaven, who made the sea and the dry land" (1:9). In 1:12 he tells them to throw him into the sea. The men evidently balked at this and tried to row the ship to shore (1:13). Finally they relent and cry to the Lord, "Lord, he told us to throw him over so don't hold us responsible for his death" [my paraphrase].

Growing up I always thought that Jonah was being brave and trusted that the Lord would not let him perish. Now I'm not so sure. Why didn't he go to the ship's master and say, "Cap'n this gale is blowing because I am fleeing to Tarshish, put about and head back to Joppa and it will subside." I wonder if he was being brave at all. Perhaps he was thinking, "I'll show the Lord, I'll just drown myself and he can get some other bozo to go to Nineveh."

So over he goes. Right into the great fish. I can hear Jonah now..."Oh flip, this is great. Just when I think I've escaped you, O Lord, you do this. Fine. See if I care." It took Jonah three days and nights to relent (1:17).

When he does relent he prayed this really nice prayer (2:2-9) and all seems well. But it's not. Jonah goes to Nineveh, preaches the doom that is to come and, much to his chagrin, the Ninevites repent. From the King to the cattle they sit in ashes and put on sackcloth, and fast.

But Jonah doesn't get it. Instead he goes to a hillside and waits for the destruction. When it doesn't happen, "it displeased Jonah exceedingly, and he was angry" (4:1). Then, oh man is he pissy, Jonah says, "Lord, I told you this would happen. Dern it, this is way I was heading to Tarshish. I just knew they'd repent and you'd show mercy, just kill me now." [Again, my paraphrase]

And here's the kicker. Jonah, having become angry about a plant that God caused to shade him, still doesn't get it. God says, "You pity the plant; for which you did not labor, nor did you make it grow, which came into being in a night and perish in a night. And should I not pity Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand persons who do not know their right from their left, and also much cattle?"

And so it ends. This may be the biggest cliffhanger in the Bible. What happened to Jonah? Did he get it? I doubt it. Did he really think that God was not to be found in Tarshish? He would rather die than do what God asks.

And there's the rub. We are so much like Jonah. We try to run to Tarshish because we think God will not be there. Then we get into a tight spot and God rescues us, but we sulk and sit in darkness. We all live in the belly of the great fish. It's warm and we've gotten used to the smell. Remeber, it took Jonah three days to decide he wanted some fresh air. The waves and winds do us no harm. But slowly, almost imperceptibly, we are being devoured. We are dying in the darkness on the belly.

And, if we make it out of the belly and back to shore, we are pissed when God doesn't act exactly as we wish. "Look God," we say, "those people are really sinful. I'll bet you're going to destroy them aren't you."

We need to be like the Ninevites, repenting and begging for God's mercy. Instead we act like pissy prophets and set up a booth and get a chip on our shoulder. After all, we're Christian, not like those stupid Ninevites.

Lord Have Mercy on us all. May we see the ridiculousness of sitting in the dark and being devoured. My we heed Our Lord's warning and repent.

In the name of The Father, and The Son, and The Holy Spirit. Amen.

More Photos

2005-10-04T00:06:00.000-05:00

Here are some more photos from Paul's Baptism

This is (l-r) Fr. Justin, Fr. Stephen, Paul and me, Anthony, and Lainey (my wife).

Paul getting tonsured.

Sophie, my 9 year-old, playing with a blurry Anna.

Here is Paul bravely enduring all the attnetion.

Philippa's Comments

2005-10-03T09:35:00.000-05:00

My dear e-friend* Philippa has challenged me with a few topics to blog on. Oddly enough, Saturday night I came up with one of my own, and there are a few things from Sunday I'd like to touch on as well.

Philippa commenteth thus:

If you want some ideas to blog about, here are some. What else rolls around that brain of yours? What ideas do you have? What dreams (besides Iceland) do you have? What are your children up to? Or don't you write about their antics?

So I'll respond in turn.
"What else rolls around that brain of yours?"
Too much. I've written previously how my mind runs through topics. I'll continue to write about topics that interest me as filler for when I don't have a new topic.

What ideas do you have? What dreams (besides Iceland) do you have?
Sheesh. Okay Philippa. I'll get back to these.

What are your children up to? Or don't you write about their antics? Hmm. Well here's the thing. Plenty of folks use their blog to tell us about their daily lives. I even read some of those blogs. Here's one from Iceland called The Dinoia Family. The thing is that's not what I do. I'm not interested in writing about the daily routine, and I am not interested in you reading it. Just my personal thing.

Having said that, I have to tell you about some of the things Paul said in Church on Sunday. Fr Stephen, as Dean of the Appalachian Deanery of the Diocese of the South, OCA, was away on Sunday. I told Paul that he would not be there, but Fr. Justin would be.
"Will there be another Pwiest?" asked Paul.
"No, just Father Justin," said I.

Later, I told Paul it was almost time for Communion and he bolted up to the front in anticipation. He gets really excited about communion (hmmm...didn't our Lord say something about the faith of a child...). I picked him up and we stood praying and singing along with the chior.
When the curtains opened and Father Justin came out Paul spoke up again.
"Is Father Stephen stiwl sweeping?" he asked.
"No. Remember he's at another church." I said.
"Is he at Grandpa's church," said Paul.
"No, he's at a different church." Grandpa goes to a big SoBaptist church, but Paul has no concept of there being anything other than Orthodox. (Man that's nice)

A few minutes later we're going through the line and singing "Receive the Body of Christ, Taste the Fountain of Immortality"
Paul asks, "What is a fountain of tea? Does it pour down your head?" I was really too cracked up to say much.

More to come. I promise. Here's the upcoming topics:

Jonah the Pissy Prophet,
"Thank God I'm Orthodox",
Monks in the Mountains (a dream/idea for Philippa),
More pics from Paul's Baptism (with a good one of Sophie).

Stay Tuned.

*--I have known "Philippa" for several years and together we run the world famous OXWOMS group at Yahoo! I have not, unfortunately, met her face-to-face for coffee or a beer or some good bbq. Maybe someday we can remedy that.

Brain detritus

2005-09-30T07:42:00.000-05:00

I hate to disappoint my 4 loyal readers, but dang if I am still suffering bloggers-block.

In light of that here some of my current mental detritus.

After getting recharged about the St. Moses project I have let it slide a little. Basically I will need to do some reading about Late Antique Egypt before I feel comfortable doing much work on the story. There is a book cleverly titled Egypt in Late Antiquity that looks like a good intro to the topic. So I'll be getting that as soon as I can.

In the meantime, I've been reviving an idea I have for a fantasy epic. As an admirer of Sengoku Jidai (Warring States period) and Edo Period Japan as well as Norse/Viking culture, I am trying to develop a setting which blends these two without being obvious or silly. What I am working with is seeing if I can take cultural elements from each and synthesize them into something new. A warrior culture with frequent sea raids, but that has a highly developed aesthetic; a stratified society ordered by lord/vassal relationships.

Anyway, here are a few good books about Edo Period Japan:

Musashi by Eiji Yoshikawa. The historical/fictional biography/novel about the very real, very skilled Miyamoto Musashi. Excellent book. After reading this I could not read Clavell's Shogun anymore, it just seemed too Western.

The Tokaido Road by Lucia St. Clair Robson. Not as epic as Musashi. Probably not as historically accurate either. Nonetheless, I really enjoyed this book.

Chushingura is a Puppet Play based on a real event. This is the slightly famous 47 Ronin story. This is the version my Asian History teacher had us read, so this is the one I've stuck to. Reads like a play, but man is it good.

Musui's Story: The Autobiography of a Tokugawa Samurai is a great book. Musui is a kind of loveable scamp, a scaramouche samarai and a good antedote to the opinion that samurai were all honorable warrior-philosophers. (One of the things I learned in studying history: if there is a rule or code writen forbidding some behavior you can be sure someone, probably many someones, was engaging in the forbidden behavior. And there are numerous "House Codes" writen to instil the proper Bushido--way of the Warrior--into the soldiers of a house or castle.)

Across the Nightingale Floor (Tales of the Otori, Book One) is not really Japan, but a close facsimile thereof. Nice change of pace from Middle Earth influenced fantasy. I've only read the first one, but plan to read the others.

Has anyone read the Sano Ichiro novels by Laura Joh Rowland? I will have to check these out. Yay! new reading material.

Death at the Crossroads by Dale Furutani is one I have read and it turns out there are more. I'll have to see if Inter Library Loan can get these.

Well, there you go. Some good books to introduce you to Edo (sometimes called Tokugawa) period Japan.

Addicted to Ice

2005-09-23T11:24:00.000-05:00

Just Call me Raphael Michaelsson
Like a zombie seeking brains, like a moth to a flame, like a kid to dirt, I am drawn to Iceland. What the heck is in Iceland? Not much.
Only 290k people in a space the size of Kentucky.
Cool to cold weather.
Amazing landscapes.
Sigur Ros.

I don't really know why I am drawn to Iceland. Let me speculate.

Vikings. I love Vikings. I did my biggest term paper in college on the three avenues of Viking expansion and how they interacted with the peoples they encountered.
Cold. Average August temp. in Reykjavik is High 55 and Low 46. January is fairly mild considering the proximity to the Artic circle and only four hours of sunlight. High 35, Low 27.
Have you seen the landscape.
Icelandic is still pure enough that you can read the mediaeval Eddas and Sagas.
Seriously, take a look at the landscape
Did I mention the population? Reykjavik has about 185k. For this small town guy that sounds awesome.

Now, to connect Iceland and Orthodoxy is not as large a leap as you may think. here are a couple of connections:
By percentage here's how Orthodoxy is represented in Iceland:
Serbian Orthodox church 157 0.05%
Parish of St. Nicholas of the Russian Orthodox Church 113 0.04%
That means that .9% or the population of Iceland is Orthodox.
May more come back to the first Icelandic religion! See this.
I googled my heart out, but really couldn't come up with anything on these two churches. Here is a picture that may be the Russian Parish. I have doubts.

Here are some cool pics. As they may be copyrighted, I justed posted links.

Blue Lagoon and Power Plant

A collection of Iceland Photos

matt's Iceland Photos

Iceland Photos by Jeff Maion.

More to come...

Who do they think we are?

2005-09-15T01:20:00.000-05:00

Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review is a phenomenon! We have submissions from all over the U.S., one or two from Canada, one from the U.K., and one from Israel. I just received an email telling me the author had heard of us from an email from the Maryland Writer's Guild. Woot!

What continues to amaze me is how seriously people are taking us. It's not like we're paying a great rate (one dollar and a one copy). I think some people have resonated with our vision and others have been convinced of our legitimacy by our nice website (designed and written in notepad by yours truly). Heck if they could see our "office" well, they might just send their poems and stories elsewhere.

We had originally hoped to publish our first issue on October 1st. Hah, hah, hah, snort, yeah, hah, right! Between my publishing partner building his own house and my limited time, we are now hoping to have it ready for October in general. It's doable, but just barely.

The biggest obstacle we face right now is printing. We are hoping to print and assemble all the copies ourselves. If we had any start-up money at all, we'd take the files to a printer and let them do it. However, I have only worked for about six months this year and Mike has been building his house, so we are trying to produce a great looking publication on the cheap. We both grew up in working poor/low middle class families so we know how to make do with what we have. Maybe the first issue will sell so wonderfully that we can have the second done professionally.

Anyway, off to InDesign (I hate InDesign, give me QuarkXpress any day)…

Every Writer Needs and Editor

2005-09-15T01:14:00.000-05:00

...and every editor needs a drink.
I've just started reading Eats, Shoots & Leaves by Lynne Truss. I am loving this book! I remember the hullabaloo when it came out and almost bought a copy with gift money last Christmas. As an writer and editor (www.mountzionpress.com) I can completely sympathize with Ms. Truss's observations. "How can you be such a stickler?" you might ask. "I've read your blog. You have typos all over the place." True. And I usually don't bother to go back and correct them. My blogging style is a bit more relaxed and off-the cuff than others. I mentioned in an early post that iamasheep is like the kitchen junk drawer: you never know exactly what you'll find, and sometimes you'll find a treasure.

To my three or four regular readers, I apologize for not posting more regularly recently. I've had blogger's block. Rest assured, I do not intend to abandon this blog for an extended period as I've done in the past.

Memeage

2005-09-12T09:56:00.001-05:00

I have answered the siren's call via Philppa and Uncrteated Light. This is only because I am having bloggers block right now.

FIRSTS
First best friend: Davis, 1st grade.
First car: 1984 Toyota Corolla. I married into it and man it was the smoothest shifting car I’ve ever driven. I still miss that car.
First screen name: Don’t remember
First pets: Dogs. Folks had Sophie a peeka-poo when I was born. My first dog was a cocker-mut named Elsie May when I was 8.
First piercing/tattoo: Two in the left ear when I was fifteen. Haven’t worn an earring in about 13 years.

LASTS
Last cigarette: This Morning
Last car ride: Today. Drove to work.
Last kiss: This morning, Either Paul or my wife, I can’t remember who came last..
Last good cry: I guess about a month ago.
Last library book: I just check out four books on the roman empire and Eats, Shoots, Leaves..
Last movie seen: Dead Again, last night. I’d seen before but wanted to see it again. I am about half-way through Audition, a Japanese thriller/horror
Last beverage drank: Drinking Coffee right now.
Last food consumed: Life Cereal for breakfast.
Last crush: Lainey, my wife..
Last phone call: Talked to Mike about Mount Zion journal last night..
Last time showered: Last Night
Last shoes worn: Addidas Samba’s.
Last cd played: Compilation of Sigur Ros downloaded from their website..
Last item bought: KraftWerk
Last annoyance: InDesign crashing while I was working on the journal..
Last shirt worn: Grey polo.
Last website visited: http://philippaalan.blogspot.com.
Last IM: Don’t IM
Last word you said: Bye (I was just on the phone)
Last song you sang: VeggieTales, “Dance of the Cucumber”.
What color socks are you wearing? White
What's under your bed? Dust.
What time did you wake up today? 6:30

FUTURE
Where do you want to go? Georgia (country), Crna Reka, Alaska, Jerusalem, to venerate the relics of St Raphael, St John of San Fran, Antarctica, on a cruise as a sail trainee aboard a tall ship.
Where are you going to live? Here, Norris.
How many kids do you want? Got two
What kind of car(s): Toyota, Honda

CURRENT
Current mood: pleasantly bored
Current music: none
Current taste: coffee
Current hair: very short
Current clothes: Gray polo, blue jeans, white socks, sambas, cheapo watch
Current color of toenails: Toe nail color

UNIQUE
1. Nervous Habits: Don’t know.
3. Can you roll your tongue? Yes.
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? Just the right one
5 Can you blow spit bubble? No
6. Can you cross your eyes? Yes.
7. Tattoos? Nah. I've always wanted one though. The Mrs. won't allow it.
8. Piercings and where? Not anymore.
9. Do you make your bed daily? No.

CLOTHES
10. Which shoe goes on first? The first one I grab
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? No.
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your wallet? 5 dollars.
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? Wedding ring, and my baptismal cross.
14. Favorite piece of clothing? Ratty old blue polo,

FOOD
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? Twirl, fail, shovel
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? Not to my knowledge
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? Baskin Robins, Chocolate Fudge.
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? 2
19. What's your favorite beverage? Beer
20. What's your favorite restaurant? Chinese.
21. Do you cook? Yes!

GROOMING
22. How often do you brush your teeth? Every night.
23. Hair drying method? Air.
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? no

MANNERS
25. Do you swear? Depends on the company
26. Do you ever spit? Only when I eat sunflower seeds

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE
27. Animal? Wolves, and herps
28. Food? A rare steak
29. Month? October/November
30. Day? Sunday
31. Favorite Cartoon Character? Samurai Jack, Mr. Lunt
32. Shoe Brand? Birks
33. Subject in school? Religion/History
34. Color? Green.
35. Sport? Tennis, Soccer, Football
36. TV show? Ever—M*A*S*H and Northern Exposure

IN AND AROUND ROOM
41. The CD player? My computer (I’m at work
42. Person you talk most on the phone. Mike my primo amigo and partner in Mount Zion..
43. Pictures up? Not mine
44. Do you regularly look at yourself in store windows and mirrors? No
45. What color is your bedroom? Ugly Wallpaper
46. Do you use an alarm clock? Yes.
47. Window seat or aisle? Prefer window, my 80 year old knees (I’m only 31) prefer aisle

LA LA LAND
48. What's your sleeping position? back.
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? quilt.
50. Do you snore? Loudly.
51. Do you sleepwalk? Not since I was a kid
52. Do you talk in your sleep? No.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? C’mon
54. How about with the light on? No.
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? No
56. Do you sleep with the door shut? No

In the Midst of Tragedy, Hope

2005-09-05T00:36:00.000-05:00

I was Chrismated in the Holy Orthodox Chruch on September 16, 2001. We were still reeling from the horror of Sept. 11, but I was blessed. I wonder if this is going to be a pattern. Today, after a week of seeing apocolyptic images from the Gulf Coast, Paul had his first Communion.

Liturgy today was a wonderful affair.
Paul took communion for the first time today! This was the first time he and Lainey had been since his baptism (Lainey I were sick the first week after and the second week...two words: potty training). Paul was pretty sure he didn't want "Church bread from the spoon" as he was sure it was going to taste like medicine. This is partly my fault as I explained to him one time that it was kind of like medicine. This impression was only reinforced because of the similarity between taking communion and taking medicine.

Nonetheless, Liturgy was fairly normal for us. At one point he went up to the front of the nave and sat and watched the goings on in the Sanctuary. When the time came for communion, Paul was excited to hold his Baptismal candle (not sure about others, but our tradition is to come to the Cup with it lit for the three weeks following baptism/chrismation). When we got to the Cup, Father Stephen picked a nice sized piece of bread for Paul and he ate it with only a second's hesitation!

I hugged him tightly and told him how proud I was. Several people came up and congratulated us. Still, I was fairly low-key so I hope that he is over his reluctance.

Thanks be to God!

2005-09-01T15:10:00.000-05:00

I like wierd music. Or better, I like divers music. A great source for checking out new music is "All Songs Considered" at NPR.
Here are a few I recently checked out and added to my Amazon wishlist:
Tinariwen
Konoko No. 1
Oliver Mtukudzi
Tim Wiedenkeller

That shouold get you started.

Oh, I don't know if you'll get very far without a broadband connection. But it would be worth the try.

More Cool Orthodox Pics

2005-08-31T10:21:00.000-05:00

In April of 2004 Metroolitian HERMAN visited Georgia (the country not the US state). For some reason I fell in love with these pictures.

No disrespect, but forget the hierarchs and check out that fresco!

A 1000 year old Cathedral in Georgia.

The Skull of Saint Thomas the Apostle.

Due to historic isolation, the Georgian church developed her own iconographic and musical style. The icons have a wide-eyed look similar to Coptic icons and often feature a bright turquoise color.
As per the Georgian music, I was going to link an audio file, but I’m still looking.

A few unrelated items

2005-08-30T22:48:00.000-05:00

We watched most of Larry King's coverage of the Katrina devastation. I simply cannot fathom what those people are facing. One of the experts pointed believed they would be setting up what amounts to a refugee camp north of New Orleans as there are about 1,000,000 homeless people as a result of the destruction. Lord Have Mercy, Lord Have Mercy, Lord have Mercy.

Andy Roddick, 2003 Champion and 2005 4th seed, was defeated in straight sets 7-6, 7-6, 7-6, by Gilles Muller of Luxembourg, a relative unknown. I caught the last set as Lainey doesn't like to watch sports. Muller was amazing. Although Muller had a tough time defending against Roddick's serve, Roddick couldn't stop Muller's at all. He won the last tie-breaker 7-1! I wish I had seen the whole match.

I am no stranger to research. My degree from Berea College is in Religion with a minor in History. For three summers I was a research assistant for the Northwest Semitic Inscription Archive project (in fact I named it, woot!). Part of my job was bibliographic research to track down journal articles about inscriptions. I really enjoy research. But the more I look for research materials for the St. Moses book, the more I realize that I need access to a serious library. I simply don't have access to some of the tools I need (JSTOR for instance). Arrgh, looks like I'll have to buy a "membership" to either the University of Tennessee Library (at $100 per year) or the Knox County Public Library (at $25 per year). I hope Knox County will suffice.

Sources for St. Moses book

2005-08-30T15:31:00.000-05:00

You can ignore this if you want. It is the beginning of a bibliography for the St. Moses book. Feel free to suggest any others. You can purchase them for me at my Amazon wish list. Just kidding! Actually, I find amazon wish lists to be a great way to build a bibliography.

The Life and Times of St. Moses: The Black Desert Father John Ackert $30.99
Lives of the Desert Fathers: The Historia Monachorum in Aegypto (Cistercian Studies No. 34) Benedicta Ward $12.95
The World of the Desert Fathers: Stories and Sayings From the Anonymous Series of the Apophthegmata Patrum Columba Stewart $7.95
Pachomius: The Making of a Community in Fourth-Century Egypt (The Transformation of the Classical Heritage , No 6) Philip Rousseau $21.95
Ascetics, Society, and the Desert: Studies in Early Egyptian Monasticism (Studies in Antiquity and Christianity (Sac) Series) James E. Goehring $34.95
Graeco Roman Egypt (Shire Egyptology Ser. No. 17)) Simonp. Ellis $14.00
Life in Egypt Under Roman Rule (Classics in Papyrology, V. 1) Naphtali Lewis $19.95
Egypt After the Pharaohs: 332 Bc-Ad 642 from Alexander to the Arab Conquest Alan K. Bowman $19.95
Alexandria in Late Antiquity : Topography and Social Conflict (Ancient Society and History) Christopher Haas $48.31
Blacks in antiquity;: Ethiopians in the Greco-Roman experience Frank M. Snowden
Symbolic Blackness and Ethnic Difference in Early Christian Literature Gay Byron $33.95
Egypt in Late Antiquity Roger S. Bagnall $18.45
The Demography of Roman Egypt: Cambridge Studies in Population, Economy and Society in Past Time(No. 23)Roger S. Bagnall, Bruce W. Frier

A Saint for the Rest of Us

2005-08-29T14:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the day we remember Saint Moses the Black.

Kontakion
Your mind was filled with a holy inspiration from God,
Turning you from the lust and pleasures of the flesh,
Bringing you to the height of the city of God!
O Holy Father Moses, intercede with Christ God that He may grant us great mercy!

I have a particular fondness for St. Moses. If you are not familiar with his story, here is the short version:
He was born a servant in the household of a Roman Official in Egypt. The master released him because he was violent and murderous. He fell in with a band of robbers and, due to his prodigous size and strength and his violent nature, he was soon their leader. The band terrorized the countryside. Eventually he had a conversion experience and entered a monastery. All his life he strove to be Christ-like. Here are a couple of my favorite episodes from his biography.

One day robbers attacked him as he sat in his cell, not knowing who it was. They were four in number. He tied them all together and, putting them on his back like a truss of straw, brought them to the church of the brethren, saying: "Since I am not allowed to hurt anyone, what do you bid me do with these?" Then these robbers, having confessed their |88 sins and recognized that it was Moses the erstwhile renowned and far-famed robber, themselves also glorified God and renounced the world because of his conversion, saying to themselves: "If he who was so great and powerful in brigandage has feared God, why should we defer our salvation?"
THE LAUSIAC HISTORY by Palladius

Once a brother had been caught in a particular sin, and the abbot asked St. Moses to come to the church and render judgment. He came reluctantly, carrying on his back a leaking bag of sand. When he arrived, the brothers asked him why he was carrying such a thing. He simply said, "This sand is my sins which are trailing out behind me, while I go to judge the sins of another." At that reply, the brothers forgave the offender and returned to focusing on their own salvation rather than the sins of their brother.

I like saints that weren’t born that way. Many saints are holy and pious children, but some of my favorites are the ones with some dirt under their nails. Saint Moses is one of those saints. He was about as despicable character as one can be and still was given the grace of repentance. His story gives me some hope that I may someday overcome my own demons.

I have been long considering writing a book about Saint Moses. Using the scant information we have and filling in the details to make a fictional biography. Bev Cooke has done this from Macrina the Elder. Another idea I had was to use the life of Saint Mose as a narrative frame for the story of a completely fictional character. This second idea would entail a good deal of research, but I think I’d enjoy it.

Doing their best to give us all a bad name.

2005-08-26T13:13:00.000-05:00

The infamous Westboro Baptist Church continues their militant ignorance by protesting at the funeral of a local soldier.

According to their press release, God is punishing America for being a "rich fag nation." I try to tell myself that the first amendment was written for these idiots.

It gets worse:
His in his retaliatory wrath, God is killing Americans with Muslim IEDs [Improvised Explosive Device]...God Almighty killed Army StaffSgt. Asbury Hawn II, in shame, casting him into hell, with his other soldier pals, cursing each other bitterly, being tormented with fire and brimstone.

What the crack? How do you become so warped that the command to love becomes something so vile. The easy way out is to blame the enemy: the evil one has lied to them. I am just flabbergasted at this group.

And their tactics are working, they've made the news for several days here.

Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy, Lord have mercy.

The Wish Power are together with you!?!?

2005-08-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

Star Wars fans beware, this may cause you to injure yourself laughing.
Backstroke of the West

Ain't Computers Great

2005-08-25T01:07:00.000-05:00

I have always claimed to have just enough computer savvy to get myself in trouble. Most of what I know I learned on the job as a help dest agent for a broadband ISP.

So, when I realized that I could have two monitors on my computer and double my desktop, well I just had to try. You might ask why I would even want two monitors. If you have a huge, sexy, flatscreen monitor then you should realize that many of us are still stuck on monitors that date from the first Clinton administration. And some people still use dial-up. If you've ever used Photoshop or some other graphics program that has a bunch of tool windows floating over your work, then you know exactly why.

After doing a little research I came home and checked out my situation. In less than half an hour I had cracked both cases, cannibalized the monitor and video card from an old machine and booted back up. I held my breath and...

It worked!

It is awesome. I've been blogging and surfing with windows open on both monitors and its been great. You never know what your missing until you upgrade. I highly recommend adding another monitor to your set-up if you can. Old monitors and video cards can be had real cheap.

For Pat, and all of us

2005-08-25T00:49:00.000-05:00

"There would be no need for sermons, if our lives were shining; there would be no need for words, if we bore witness with our deeds. There would be no pagans, if we were true Christians."
St John Chysostom

Some Quotes

2005-08-24T22:58:00.000-05:00

Widely diverse reading goining on. Here are some nice quotes from three different reads.

First God's Politics (2005) by Jim Wallis.

Christ commands us to not only see the splinter in our adversary's eye but also the beams in our own...To name the face of evil in the brutality of terrorist attacks is good theology, but to say they are evil and we are good is bad theology that can lead to dangerous foriegn policy...Christ instructs us to love our enemies, which does not mean a submission to their hostile agendas or dominations, but does mean treating them as human beings created in the image of God and respecting their human rights as adversaries and even as prisoners...

The words of Jesus are either authoritative for Christians, or they are not. And they are not set aside by the very real threat of terrorism. They do not easily lend themselves to the missions of nation-states that would usurpthe prerogatives of God. the threat of terrorism does not overturn Christian ethics...

The issue here is not partisan politics, and there are no easy political solutions. The ruling party has increasingly struck a religious tone in an agressive foreign policy that seems much more nationalistic than Christian, while the opposition party has offered more confusion than clarity.

Next, Two Years Before the Mast (1840) by Richard Henry Dana.

"I say! you know what countryman 'e be?"
"Yes," I said, "he's a German."
"What kind of German?" said the cook.
"He belongs to Bremen," said I.
"Are you sure o' dat?" said he.
I satisfied him on that point by saying that he could speak no language but the German and English.
"I'm plaguy glad o' dat," said the cook. "I was mighty 'fraid he was a Fin. I tell you what, I been plaguy civil to that man all the voyage."
I asked him the reason of this, and found that he was fully possesed with the notion that Fins are wizards, and especially have power over winds and storms. I tried to reason with him about it, but he was not to be moved. He had been in a vessel to the Sandwich Islands, in which the sail-maker was a Fin, and could do anything he was of a mind to...
As I still doubted, he said he would leave it to John, who was the oldest seaman aboard, and would know, if anybody did. John, to be sure, was the oldest, and at the same time the most ignorant, man in the ship; but I consented to have him called. The cook stated the matter to him, and John, as I anticipated, sided with the cook, and said that he himself had been in a ship where they had a head wind for a fortnight and the captain found out at last that one of the men, whom he had had some hard words with a short time before, was a Fin, and immediately told him if he didn’t stop the head wind he would shut him down in the fore peak. The Fin would not give in, and the captain shut him down in the fore peak, and would not give him anything to eat. The Fin held out for a day and a half, when he could not stand it any longer, and did something or other which brought the wind round again, and they let him up.
“There,” said the cook, “what you think o’ dat?”
I told him I had no doubt it was true, and that it would have been odd if the wind had not changed in fifteen days, Fin or no Fin.
“Oh,” says he, “go ’way! You think, ’cause you been to college, you know better than anybody. You know better than them as has seen it with their own eyes. You wait till you’ve been to sea as long as I have, and you’ll know.”

Third, Danse Macabre (1981) by Stephen King.

The genre we're talking about, whether it be in terms of books, film, or TV, is really all one: make-believe horrors. And one of the questions that frequently comes up...is: Why do you want to make up horrible things when there is so much real horror in the world?

The answer seems to be that we make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones. With the endless inventiveness of humankind, we grasp the very elements which are so divisive and destructive and try to turn them into tools--to dismantle themselves. The Greek term catharsis is as old as Greek drama, and it has been used rather too glibly by some practitioners in my field to justify what they do, but it still has its limited uses here. The dream of horror is in itself an out-letting and a lancing...and it may well be that the mass-media dream of horror can sometimes become a nationwide analyst's couch.

Blame Philippa?

2005-08-24T12:00:00.000-05:00

Nah, I thank her for pointing this out.
Blame the spammers.

Whence Mount Zion?

2005-08-23T23:06:00.000-05:00

I've mentioned Mount Zion in passing in a few posts. Here's the nickle version.

My good friend Mike and I are publishing a literary journal. It is called Mount Zion Speculative Fiction Review. The subtitle is, "a journal of Appalachian Fantasy and Horror." That's right, a journal of fantasy and horror stories with an Appalachian connection.

We decided to pursue this hairbrained scheme because we saw a dearth of print markets for short fiction, especially the kind we like to read and write. We choose an Appalachian theme because, well, that's where we live. Also, we like the regional aspect of genre literature--there's a strong tradition of this. H. P. Lovecraft focused on New England; Stephen King on Maine; and Ramsey Campbell on Liverpool, for example.

Now we are dangerously close to printing our first issue (hopefully October 1st, but we'll see) and I am amazed at the response we've gotten. Our original idea for marketing was very local--in and around Knoxville; howeveer, we've gotten so many submissions from people all over the map that I suspect online sales will be our biggest market.

"Why Mount Zion?" you might ask. Mike and I have both written stories that take place in or near a small fictional town in East Tennessee called Mount Zion. We decided it made sense to use the name for our journal as well as our company, Mount Zion Press.

Oh, and those photos below, in addition to being real places, are also from Mount Zion.

More Pictures

2005-08-23T22:49:00.000-05:00

Clouds
Vines
The Door

Here are some pics I took on my Olympus SLR. They have been touched up in Photoshop, but they are real pictures. The Door and Clouds were taken in downtown Clinton, TN. They are both along the same wall of an old brick building. Vines was taken in Jellico, TN. It is the back of the old, and now unused, Coca-Cola bottling plant in downtown.

Real Men

2005-08-23T00:49:00.000-05:00

Here is something I've been simmering for quite some time. It is still undercooked, but I aim to keep this blog fresh.

Men love a real barbershop. It is one of the last public places where men can go and be men with other men. You can talk—or not. If you don't feel like talking a friendly grunt usually deters a would-be conversationalist. If you do want to chat, why name your topic. Fishing been good? We all want to here about it--even the ones who don't fish. Want to complain about the government? So do we. How about them gas prices, can you believe it?

Men need this sort of environment. Women do too, but I think they find it more easily than men. Until recently men could find this at work everyday, or at the regular service club meeting. But women have rightly fought for and achieved access to these places. So we have the barbershop.

For me the barbershop is thoroughly a man's world. When I was old enough to decide how I wanted my haircut, Mom would drop me off at Eddie's and I'd go in alone. My father has been basically out of the picture since I was eight, so the barbershop was an initiation of sorts. I love the smells of the comb disinfectant and various tonics and the quiet buzz of the clippers as the barber cleans up an old man's bald head.

Our culture has decided that men are objects of derision and comic relief. Watch any family sitcom if you don't believe me (Everybody Loves Raymond, King of Queens, According to Jim, The Simpsons, Home Improvement, to name a few). The message is: Men are idiots, men are lazy, men are just overgrown children.

With very few places for men to socialize the next generation, our boys are growing up to become something less than men. And I don't mean we should be sex-crazed, machismo machines. Men don't have to be pansies to be sensitive. But neither should they have their masculinity drummed out of them. We need to be encouraged to be men.

"I too am not a bit tamed—I too am untranslatable;
I sound my barbaric yawp over the roofs of the world."

Pics from Pauls Baptism

2005-08-22T15:19:00.000-05:00

The following pics are from our parish website.
I am the hefty guy in the grey polo. Anthony is in a white shirt and wearing a tie. Lainey, my wife is in a peach-colored dress. Of course the guy I'm holding is the Newly Baptized Paul Owen.

I'm a gamer, yup!

2005-08-20T04:38:00.000-05:00

And not one of those new fangled computer gamers, neither. When I play I want to hear some dice rolling.

Well, I was going to write something about a book I've started, God's Politics by Jim Wallis. Instead I've just burned an hour looking through the forums for a new game I want to play.

Its called Pirates of the Spanish Main. It is similar to a CCG (collectable card game for the uninitiated) like Yu-Gi-Oh, Magic, or Pokemon in that it comes in a little foil pack with cards. The differences are 1) that these cards have punch out pieces to make tiny model ships and 2) gameplay is more like a minatures wargame than a CCG duel. (If almost none of that makes sense, ask the nearest geeky kid to explain it.)

I've seen the game in my local game store for a while and was tempted to get a few packs just to have the model ships. However, I am seriously thinking about creating a Seafaring RPG (role-playing game--again for the uninitiated think Dungeouns & Dragons) using minatures for realistic naval combat. All of the naval combat rules I've read in pen and paper RPGs have been woefully unrealistic. I've downloaded some free rules for Napoleonic naval wargames and was impressed. We'll see if it goes anywhere.

My Mount Zion partner and I want to include RPG products as a product line (probably pdf only to begin with). We have some good ideas, including a setting that would really mesh with my maritime interests.

Anyway, I'll have something to say about Willis's later. I was just so impressed with the little I've read so far, but got side-trackde because I bought some new Pirates packs and, well, see my previous post for the workings of my mind.

What Historians Have Always Known

2005-08-19T08:57:00.000-05:00

In her book The Bounty Caroline Alexander exposes reveals the truth, as much as it can be, about the ill fated Bounty voyage.

It turns out Leftenant Wm. Bligh was not such a bad captain after all. He was perhaps one of the best navigators in the Royal navy at the time. He was only 22 when Captain James Cook asked Bligh to be his Sailing Master. His amazing 48-day, 3,600-mile journey in an open boat made him a national hero.

From the time he left England, sailed to Cape Stiff (Cape Horn for the less salty among you), battled the Horn for three weeks, and finally headed West to take the long way to Tahiti, he never ordered a flogging. This may not sound surprising, but in the those days flogging was a common punishment for a great number of offences. Even after that, the crew, in letters and journals, sounded upbeat and fond of Bligh.

So what happened? Something made Fletcher Christian flip. Mr. Christian, upon whom Bligh had shown a great deal of kindness and affection, making him an unofficial lieutenant. Mr. Christian who, while waiting for orders had visited the Bligh household and, according the Lt. Bligh, "bounced my children upon your knee."

And not only Christian. It seems that Bligh was surrounded by subpar and mediocre officers. His personal log, which is meticuluous, mentions that several officers were lazy, disobedient, and disrespectful. If Bligh had been given a ship more fitting to his mission, he would have had a contingent of marines on board. These marines would have been at the sole command of the Captain. A sentry was always posted outside the Captain's cabin. And they were the only persons always armed. But Bligh had no marines.

Vice Admiral William Bligh had a long naval career. In 1797 he commanded HMS Director at the battle of Camperdown and as Captain of HMS Glatton in 1801 took part in the battle of Copenhagen, after which he was commended for his bravery by Admiral Nelson. Also in 1801 Bligh was elected a fellow of the Royal Society, in consideration of his distinguished services in navigation, botany etc.

In 1805, Bligh was sent to New South Wales as Governor. In 1808 there was a rebellion and he was imprisioned for two years. When he returned to England he was cleared of all blame.

The inscription reads:

TO THE MEMORY OF

WILLIAM BLIGH ESQUIRE FRS
VICE ADMIRAL OF THE BLUE
THE CELEBRATED NAVIGATOR
WHO FIRST TRANSPLANTED THEBREAD FRUIT TREE
FROM OTAHETTE TO THE WEST INDIES
BRAVELY FOUGHT THE BATTLES OF HIS COUNTRY
AND DIED BELOVED RESPECTED AND LAMENTED
ON THE 7th DAY OF DECEMBER 1817
AGED 64

Is this healthy? Is this common?

2005-08-19T03:13:00.000-05:00

Perhaps it's something a Briggs-Meyers test could point out, but my mind seems to run in cycles. There are maybe 10-15 subjects that are very interesting to me and I seem to jump from one to another without any discernable pattern. When a subject is foremost in my mind, I learn as much as I can about it almost to the exclusion of all the other subjects.

For instance, right now I am hooked on sailing, specifically the "Age of Sail" (say 1650-1900) as well as learning to sail and building a small sailboat. So, I am rereading Lieutenant Hornblower, buying Wooden Boat and Small Craft Advisor magazines, and surfing the 'net for boat plans and "Age of Sail" websites. I have very little interest in reading about Saints or self-sufficient living, playing my banjo, or anything else really.

In a few weeks something may spark my long-term interest in Feudal Japan (especially the Sengoku period) and sailing will be nearly forgotten. Or maybe I'll get interested in Robert E. Howard's world of Hyboria, home to the famous Conan of Cimmeria. Perhaps something will start me rereading Flannery O'Connor again. Or Church History, Or Theology. Or H. P. Lovecraft.

Is this healthy? Is this common? I don't know, but it is how my mind seems to work. The funny thing is that these periods of intense interest seem to be largely beyond my control. Sure I could watch Yojimbo or read Wiseblood, but chances are they would seem flat or lackluster to me. Until one interest burns itself out, it is danged hard for me to switch. It may be why I was always ready for the end of a semester in college. Then at the end of the summer, I was sick of working on the research project and ready for classes to start.

Anyway, here's to hoping I can keep blogging interesting, although it may require abrupt changes in subject matter occasionally.

2005-08-18T13:57:00.000-05:00

One of the things I like surfing for is kewl Orthodox Pics. I particularly like pics of churches and monastic places and people.

Churches:
One of my favorites:
Metropolitian HERMAN and Archbishop DMITRI at Vespers at the Cathedral of the Ascension. From the OCA website

Something about this monastery intrigues me. It is Crna Reka Monastery in the Serbian Orthodox Diocese of Raska and Prizren.

Here is a whole site devoted to Orthodox Pics.
And the Monastery of Valaam has some awesome pics. I couldn't find the online exhibit that used to be there. If you can find it let me know.

Brain Lint

2005-08-17T21:14:00.000-05:00

I'm not feeling particularly motivated to write about any topic or event, but I'm trying to make posting here a habit.

I like to keep a journal, but often I'll go for weeks without writing anything. Then a few weeks of regular entries, then a gap again. There is something I like about putting my thoughts on paper with a "low-tech" instrument.

Friday is my last day at FuzzyLogic (names have been changed insure privacy). I have only told a few people. Normally I would give a notice, but when I was rehired, the HR person said, "If you leave of your own will, you will be ineligible for rehire." So, I figured I didn't really have any reason to give a notice. Besides, it is a tech support help desk for a product that is still in beta testing. It wont go live for a month. All I've done for two weeks is surf the 'net, read email, blog, play games, and generally slack. It's not like they will miss me.

The new job is no great advancement, although it does pay over $7/hr more. In fact it is another maternity leave. But, there is a dream position (tech writing, editing, formatting) that will be opening up when the mat. leave is over. So, I'm hoping one will lead into the other.

Exercises in Humility Or God Teaches Raphael A Lesson

2005-08-14T22:12:00.000-05:00

Paul Owen was baptized today. Given his age (almost 3), everything went great. He quickly became squirmy during the long prayers, but ultimately he got wet and oily and had his hair trimmed. Praise be to God.

Lainey and Sophie were there of course. My mom was there. And Lainey's parents stayed until we changed Paul's clothes. (So they missed the whole Chrismation. Being life-long Southern Baptists, I have no doubt that they found the whole affair less than Christian.) I had hoped for a little more family, but Anthony, Paul's Godfather was there on time--perhaps the greatest miracle of the day.

Liturgy was weird. Usually Paul runs around the narthex for most of Divine Liturgy, but today he clung to me like a sloth. (Ever see those huge claws they have?) Finally the time came for his first communion. I carried Paul and Anthony was right behind us with Paul's Baptismal candle. When we got to the cup, Paul wanted no part of it. He absolutely refused.

So Father Justin said, "Give him a minute and come back." So I stood up close and let Paul watch others taking communion. Anthony, not particularly sensitive to how kids think, tried to convince Paul to take communion. Of course this only galvanized Paul's resistance.

In the end Paul did not take his first communion today. As he still clung tightly to me, I stood at the front of the Church and quietly cried. I couldn't even sing along with the choir as I normally do. Afterwards, Father Stephen said, "He's had a lot done to him today. Its okay." By this time I was a little more composed and Paul was actually asleep on my shoulder.

Later, a longtime parishioner came up to me and jokingly said, "You know, the funny thing is that he will be a priest someday." I told him about when Father Ted (the founding priest of our parish) visited. During announcements after Liturgy, Father Ted was saying how good it was to be here and how close he felt to our parish. Just then Paul ran up and kissed the central icon. Father took it in stride and said, "Its great to see that children feel so comfortable here. Someday he may be a priest." Something about the way he said it struck me as rather prophetic.

Reflecting on all of this and my utter disappointment at Paul not taking communion I realized that maybe God was teaching me a lesson. I was expecting everything to be so perfect. I don't know, like Paul would suddenly--upon consuming the Body and Blood of Christ--want to serve in the altar. (Well, that may be a tad hyperbolic). My expectations were turned on their head.

Like when I went to Akathist ready for some great spiritual experience and I stood next to the most tone-deaf guy in the parish. I love singing in the choir, but really only sing by ear. I have a pretty good ear, but with him singing next to me (we shared a book) I was lost. God turned my expectations on their head. Instead of some pious, in the clouds, spiritual moment, I was reminded of what is truly important in God's eyes.

Maybe now I've learned my lesson. I doubt it, but time will tell. In the meantime, I am overjoyed that I am no longer the only Orthodox member of my family.

Ahab's Wife

2005-08-12T14:20:00.000-05:00

I just finished reading Ahab's Wife by Sena Jeter Naslund. I am not going to write a review. I will say it is a great book. Naslund strikes a wonderful balance between philosophical reflection and action/narrative.

It got me thinking about how an author brings their own biases to their characters. I don't know, but I doubt if Naslaund is Christian in any real sense. The only characters that really were Christian were either villains or uneducated. Naslund is part of the academic culture and if she conforms to the academic "type" then she is likely a universalism at best and a materialist at worst. Mind you, this is entirely speculation.

What does this have to do with her book? It is not only common but popular to depict Christians--whether historically or living--as closed minded, stupid, and superstitious.

I just started The Sea of Trolls by Nancy Farmer and it already seems to have a subtle anti-Christian bias. Why are Christians fair game for ridicule and slander while almost any other religious or ethnic group must be treated with respect?

If I say that Islam is only a religion of peace if you're Muslim, then I am an islamophobe (or something like that).
***
You know I was going to ramble about the strong anti-Christian bias in everything from TV to Books to news, but then I remembered a few things:
1) Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (matt 5:10)
2) Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
(Matt 5:11-12)
3) I can't put my finger on it but I am pretty sure Paul has some nice quotes on this too.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Coming Around, part 2

2005-08-12T11:41:00.000-05:00

We have all been attending church together for several months and Paul is going to be baptized on Sunday. WOOOOHOOOOO

Lainey and I talked some more about what the Orthodox Church believes. It's very frustrating to me because we are talking from entirely different paradigms. She said that one reason she didn't mind Paul being baptized was that she felt he could still be saved when he got older. I may have done more harm than good, but at least she's asking questions.

Part of the problem is I go into "pedagogue mode" anytime she asks me about Church. I speak more loudly and ee-nun-see-ate everything more clearly. I think its due to enthusiasm. 1) I love talking "religion" and 2) my dear wife is the one asking me these questions, and 3) my mind is about 3 steps ahead of my mouth, so I want to make sure I'm understood. Unfortunately, it alienates my wife.

I will focus on the good: My family is finally going to one church, together, on Sunday. Paul is about to join me at the cup.

Water in the Air

2005-08-12T11:17:00.000-05:00

At eight o’clock this morning Paul (my son, he’ll be 3 in October) and I took Buster (our dog) for a walk. I composed some of this in my head while walking.

The trees are weeping. Dew drops from the high oak and poplar limbs like huge tears. They fall in groups when a breeze stirs the leaves. These drops—“drops” is too small, they larger than the largest raindrops at the beginning of a summer thunderstorm—fall in groups and I look up to see if it’s raining. But the sky is not there. Instead a haze fills the air. It surrounds and embraces you. The dewy gauze hides the sun and his azure field, the mountains that surround us, and the edge of the field. But it reveals a lace merchants bazaar.

Everywhere spider webs glow with drops of dew. In the trees, spiders with oversized, star-shaped abdomens sit inside an appearantly random web watching their traps. I have never noticed these before. They have classically shaped webs facing outward, but behind is a web-home, a pell-mell affair with no pattern that I can see. Along the ground are my favorites: small dense webs that look like discarded pieces of gauze. Some are as large as a dinner plate, but most are the size of Paul’s hand.

The grass is so bedewed that our feet are soaked. The air we breathe is likewise saturated and feels oppressive on the skin. You can feel the water as well as if you were swimming. This is not fog, much as it sounds like it. This is the summer haze of East Tennessee.

Later, when the day heats up, it will be much worse. The forecast is calling for highs in the mid nineties, not bad in Arizona or Texas, but miserable in East Tennessee. The sky will not be blue until late in the afternoon and the next ridge will never loose the veneer of haze.

“It’s hot, but it’s a dry heat.” Maybe you’ve heard that and laughed or doubted. Trust me it’s true. Heat with air temperatures in the low 90s with a humidity to match doesn’t care if you’re in the shade, fanning yourself, or dowsing your head with water. It’s just miserably hot.

On Christmas

2004-12-11T01:10:00.000-05:00

First of all, more is forthcoming on the whole Horror topic. I'm rereading Danse Macabre and will post some thoughts and quotes soon.

Now about Christmas...

The other night I read The Best Christmas Pageant Ever by Barbara Robinson to my eight year old daughter, Sophie. I was familiar with the story having seen the movie and been read the book years ago. Nonetheless, even armed with my foreknowledge, I had to stop reading several times because I was crying during the last chapter. Man this book is p'rful stuff. The funny thing is, I was crying for a whole new reason. In past encounters with the book and movie I was moved along with the narrator and audience of the pageant by the Herdmans interpretation of the Nativity story. This time I was moved by the Herdman's faith.

----Spoiler Alert, skip if you've never read the book or seen the movie------

Just as a refresher here is the basic story:
The Herdmans are mean and nasty and spiteful and cruel and every bully you've ever known wrapped into one and split between six kids. They wind up at the narrators's church because the narrator's brother told them (wrongly) that there were all kinds of wonderful refreshments to be had.

They happen to show up and bully their way into the leading roles in the Christmas Pageant even though they've never heard the Nativity story. After hearing the story they are very interested and ask a number of questions.

Everyone is sure that these mean kids will ruin the Pageant, but they don't. In fact it is the Best Christmas Pageant Ever! During the Pageant, the three Herdmans playing the Magi eschew the traditional Gold, Frankincense and Myrhh in favor of something much more precious: the Ham from their chrity Christmas food basket. Imogene Herdman, in the role of the Theotokos, gives a moving performance ending with tears streaming down her face.
After the Pageant, the six Herdmans disappear before the cast party.

___________________________________________

In a "Western" view of the Nativity, the Herdmans are spot on. They are dirty and look lost. The narrator even comments that "Ralph and Imogene looked like refugees, which Joseph and Mary were, if you think about it." [Paraphrasing here] In the past this is exactly how I had understood the story. The Herdmans, by virtue of their poverty, present a much truer vision of the first Christmas than the church had ever seen. We as readers are given an image of Mary and Joseph as hungry, tired, confused, and a little lost.

This view of the Holy Family is pervasive. We know Mary is young. She must be, it's her first child. And Joseph is surely not much older. They've traveled for days and are far from home. Right?

Wrong. On many points. Joseph is 80 years old. He was selected by the temple priests to serve as Mary's protector after she reached an age which required her to leave the temple. She desired to maintain her virginity for God and Joseph, a distant relative, had been living an ascetic life for many years since becoming a widower.

He was definitely not lost. Everyone had to go to "his own city." (Luke 2:3) Joseph went to Bethlehem. It is pretty safe to assume that Joseph knew the town prety well if he considered it "his own city." He may have owned property there. This is all conjecture, but I would love to know if there is any Patristic comment on this.

Mary was not alone with the token animals in the cave (that's right, the "stable" is a cave) she had several midwives to help her.

Both the Theotokos and Joseph the Betrothed knew what was going on. She was visited by Gabriel (Luke 1:26-38) and he by an angel of the Lord (Matt 1:20ff).

The point is that the Theotokos and Joseph the Betrothed were not pitiful lost younguns. This begs the question, why have they been made out to be so? I don't have a proof positive answer, but I'll speculate. It is much easier to identify with
the Theotokos and Joseph the Betrothed if they were pitiful. And identifying with these weary travellers is much easier than wrapping our mind around the babe lying in the manger. That babe is God. He is "the Son of God, the only-begotten, begotten of the Father before all ages; Light of Light; true God of true God; begotten, not made; of one essence with the Father, by whom all things were made; who for us men and for our salvation came down from heaven, and was incarnate of the Holy Spirit and the Virgin Mary, and became man."

The young Mary knew it. Her betrothed knew it. The Shepherds knew it. The Herdmans, I believe, realized it during the pageant. We would do well to remember it.

Horror and Orthodoxy?

2004-12-09T16:30:00.000-05:00

I am a writer. At least that's what I tell myself. I write fiction that would be shelved near Stephen King in the bookstore. This fact, that I enjoy and attempt to create horror fiction, sometimes seems at greats odds with my Faith as an Orthodox Christian. How do I reconcile my love of Peter Straub's Ghost Story and Saint Moses the Black?

In Danse Macabre Stephen King writes at length about the role of the Horror story (written or filmed) in our culture. Think about all those horror movies where the teen couple is making out in the woods. What happens to teens who make out in secluded places? They get killed by crazy, mask-wearing, axe-weilders. Horror is rooted in this kind of conservative-perserve the status quo-morality. And you know what, I happen to agree with those morals. (I have more to say on this, but my time at the public library is growing short, so I'll come back to it--with quotes even!)

My writing buddy and I are working on a couple of projects right now. One is a collection of stories for the Jouvenile Fiction market. The other is an anthology journal which would focus on Appalachian Horror and Dark Fantasy. Hopefully I'll be looking for an agent soon!

Whence the Holidays?

2004-11-27T02:58:00.000-05:00

From the Merriam-Webster online dictionary:

hol·i·day
Pronunciation: 'hä-l&-"dA, British usually 'hä-l&-dE
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English hAligdæg, from hAlig holy + dæg day
1 : HOLY DAY

So I looked up "Holy Day"

Main Entry: holy day
Function: noun
: a day set aside for special religious observance

What does any of this have to do with "The Holidays"TM as the part of the year we are now in is called? I can't begin to count the number of times, after reading a "Christmas" book or watching a "Christmas" special with my daughter that I would have to say, "Okay Sophie, I know that they said the real meaning of Christmas is peace and love and caring for others, but what is the real meaning of Christmas?" Fortunately we've taught her well and she can give the right answer.

When did the "meaning of Christmas"TM cease to be Christ's Nativity and become some wishy-washy, PC, power-of-positive-thinking, feel good pablum? And when did Thanksgiving turn into Insane Materialism Eve?

Am I upset by this? You betcha! What am I gonna do? I don't know. Keep gift buying to a reasonable level. Reinforce the honest-to-goodness meaning of Christmas. If I had it to do over, and my wife was Orthodox, I would eschew Santa Claus altogether. I mean, shucks why should some fictional bozo who lives on an ice cap get the credit for the gifts I give my kids? I know that's maybe a stupid, prideful reason for dissing the jolly elf. How's this then, the real Saint Nicholas is so much more interesting and inspirational that the guy who usurped his name.

This when I start to wish I belonged to a church that kept the Old Calendar. At least then there would be some seperation between the Day of Gifts and the Feast of the Nativity. All of this Orthodox angst about Commercial Christmas is exacerbated by my being the lone Orthodox in my family. Should Paul be baptized, and it looks probable, then Lainey and I will have to figure out how we are going to deal with this.

I'm going to let this rumble around in my head a little and post more later.

Quotes, Part II

2004-11-27T01:38:00.000-05:00

I've been re-reading John Oliver's Touching Heaven about his experience as a pilgrim/worker at Valaam. The first time I read it like a starving man eats a meal, with little attention to the subtleties of flavor and texture. Now I'm reading it like a gourmand, appreciating each delicate morsel for its unique flavor and texture.

Here are a few bites:

In those times when I attended Compline alone, though, I heard something else. There--my raincoat-covered body poured into an old wooden pew--I heard a few notes of the mystery of worship. Deep-voiced chanting of ancient texts lingered on candle flames and reached into every corner in need of light. At that time in my life, the divine melody didn't have a prayer against the dark choir of the world, the flesh, and the devil. But with the ancient music of God, a few notes are sufficient to leave a person with a hunger to hear more.

For a short while, I stopped attending Father David's church. The swirl of ideas and demands and uncertainties was overwhelming, and I needed time to sort through and scrutinize them all. Or so I thought. While the stir and froth of my rational faculties was making lots of noise, another quieter sound was calling. I noticed that while my assumptions were being challenged, my heart was being changed. Softened. The truth was being revealed not only in ways comprehensible, but in a kind of soul-language that engaged the whole of me. I discovered that I wasn't meditating on the Orthodox Church; the Orthodox Church was meditating on me.

I could not believe all of it, so I believed in what I could. And for every answer that the Orthodox Church provided, another question took its place. I ran through the carnival of ideas in my head as we rolled through the mountains at sunset. If scrutinized in isolated pieces, there was plenty in the Church I did not understand. But I sensed that this was not the way to look at the Church. My reasoning abilities were flawed anyway, so my conclusion wouldn't be entirely reliable. No, the best way for me to consider the Church was to come to it not on my terms, but on its terms [emphasis added-Raphael]

Although I can empathize with this description of Fr. John's conversion, and I know many have had similar experiences it was not the way of my conversion. Looking back I had never really asked the serious questions of a Christian "seeker."
Who is Christ? What is salvation? How does Christ save us? And from what?

I guess I had the faith of a child. My search was less theological and more historical. I knew that there was one Church long ago and that it should still be around. I knew the Baptist Church wasn't it (where my sojourn began) and later I realized that neither the Roman Catholic Church nor the Episcopal Church were that ancient church. When I found The Holy Orthodox Church I knew that was it. I had found the True Chruch and thus, I could now begin to ask those questions with the expectation of correct answers.

In this regard I accepted all the Church teaches without questioning or reservaion. For me it is just as easy to accept the traditions of the Church regarding the early life of the Theotokos as try to see the stories as metaphors or later pious accretions. It is the same for seemingly outlanding miracle stories of early saints.
I may be the worst example of an Orthodox Christina when it comes to fasting and keeping a regular prayer rule, but in this one matter, my child-like faith, I feel greatly blessed: I didn't bring much protestant baggage with me. Glory be to God!

A few quotes from recent readings. Part I

2004-11-27T01:28:00.000-05:00

Archimandrite Meltios Webber has a fantastic article in the recent issue of Divine Ascent, the journal of the Monastery of St. John the Wonderworker of Shanghai and San Francisco. His article is entitled "The Mind, the Heart, and the Way of Salvation." It is one of the best introductory articles on Orthodoxy I have ever read. He briefly outlines the difference between the Orthodox and "Western" attitude toward mystery, theology, and the human condition. He goes own to outline how our mind and the thoughts it produces are often left unchecked and are destructive to our salvation.

I really can't do this article justice. Instead here are a few quotes:

"In general terms, Western civilization is dominated by the human mind, and "knowing" seems to take precedence over "being." In the East, experience is valued over thought, and the "nous" of man--described by Saint Makarios as the "eye of the heart" and identified by Saint Diadochos as the "innermost aspect of the heart"--is considered the most important element by which a person communicates with God and, indeed, with the rest of the universe. In the West, a mystery is a problem to be solved, as can be seen daily on television. In the East, a mystery is an area where the human mind cannot go, and where the heart alone makes sense, not by "knowing" but by "being."

According to Orthodox theology, the fall of man is exhibited through the failure of his "nous" (his "heart") to function soundly or even to function at all, together with a general confusion of the "nous" with the functions of the brain and of the body in general. This confusion goes so far as to imply that the mind, together with the thoughts, is all that really exists, and that the real center of being, the "nous" or heart, is of minimal importance (if it exists at all). Thus, most human lives are completely dominated by the tyranny of the mind (together with its properties: fear and desire, depression and anxiety) and the real center of being, with its natural state of serenity and communion, is ignored.

The entire basis of Western experience, summed up definitively by Descartes as "Cogito ergo sum" ("I think therefore I am") is, in Orthodox terms, the greatest of deceits. Far from being true, it is actually an expression that perpetuates the very factor that causes the ongoing fragmentation of the human person.

Father Meletios goes on to explain in detail this fragmentation and that salvation, union with God, is to be found in the process of reuniting (or defragmenting) our selves--healing the rift between our mind and our heart.

Another Orthodox blogger has refered to this article here.

Out to the Woods

2004-11-27T01:19:00.000-05:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about self-reliant living. More specifically my dream of moving to a plot of land with some forest and perhaps a meadow and a creek and starting from scratch. Or nearly so. If I were alone I wouldn't even want a house. I would build a house out of the materials at hand. In these parts that would mean logs and field stone. Since I have a wife and children, I would require a house. We would keep small livestock and have an extensive garden. I would want to be "off the grid" and produce our own electricity or have none at all.

If this sounds anti-modern or survivalist it isn't meant to. It is not the product of some Kazinsky-esque philosophy, rather it springs from my own desire to live closer to the source of our needs. The term "self-reliant living" even sounds blatantly individualistic and atheistic; however, I believe a life of this kind would require a greater realization that all we have comes from God. And this is not a lifestyle I would encourage for others. In a way I see it as being similar to monasticism. We are not all called to be monks and nuns. Similarly, I don't believe everyone should give up their modern appliances and move to the woods. I just feel like it is a life I would choose if I could.

She's coming around

2004-11-22T01:20:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago my wife said that she and my daughter would start coming to Church with my son and me. Inside I was doing cartwheels.

Now the back story: Lainey (wife) and Sophie (daugheter, aged 8) have been going to Lainey's Baptist Church. Paul (aged 2) has been coming to St. Anne with me. Lainey and I both long for us all to be together on in worship, but I made it clear that this was not something I would comprimise on.

Her change partly came about in the context of asking her assent to have Paul baptized. I think he will be soon. Shucks the kid has been trying to climb into the baptistry (literally) since he could walk. When I go up for communion I take him with me and Father gives him a blessing. I kinda sling him below the cloth as I take communion. Last week, when I hoisted him up to get his blessing he said, "I eat it." I can't think of a more obvious indication that the boy should be baptized.

Two Months...Too long

2004-11-22T01:00:00.000-05:00

Two months since my lost post. I really wanted to better than that. I still do. I am going to relaly try this time.

At the Mission Board Meeting today we approved apending $4000 from the Outreach fund. It felt incredible to be able to give like that.

Still no job, although I have high hopes for a Book Designer position I applied for. As a bibliophile with document design skills I think it would be close to a dream job (if I must work for someone else to pay the bills).

Adding insult to injury, our landlord has informed us that we must vacate by the end of January. His mother is moving back and it's her house. We have a good lead on another place, but I should know more in about a week.

My biggest regret about leaving this house is it means leaving my garage. The garage is my hermitage of sorts. I have my grandfather's pool table and a couple of comfy chairs, a refrigerator and most of my books. It's really more of a den/study than a garage and most importantly its my space. It's the only place I can really call my own, the rest belongs to my wife. It's where I hang out with friends and drink beer and smoke cigars. It's where I watch Monday Night Football and action movies with one of my buddies. I may have to pitch a tent in the back yard of the new place if it doesn't have a shed or basement! I need my "manroom".

The Star Trek Heresy

2004-09-15T00:05:00.000-05:00

I was never a big fan of the original Star Trek, but I watched TNG (The Next Generation) every week without fail. My wife even watched it with me. Now I run across reruns as I surf for that elusive Discovery, History Channel, or Learning Channel documentary on something beside custom choppers, military machines, or decorating (another topic altogether). Anyway, TNG reruns. I can't stand them. Between the transparent formulaic stories and the dated sets and costumes, I'd rather watch the father-son dynamic in a custom chopper shop!

But the real truth is that I became too Orthodox for Star Trek. Let me explain.

In the late 4th to early 5th century a British preacher named Pelagius began opposing the teachings of Augustine of Hippo. In one sense Pelagius was opposing Augustine on good grounds, the Bishop of Hippo had gone too far in regards to Original Sin and the condition of mankind. It is debatable whether Pelagius was teaching heresy, but his followers borrowed his name and went too far in the other direction. Below is the wikipedia article on Pelagianism, no point in rewriting a good thing:
Pelagianism is the belief that original sin did not taint human nature (which, being created from God, was divine), and that mortal will is still capable of choosing good or evil with no Divine aid whatsoever. Thus, Adam's sin was "to set a bad example" for his progeny, but his actions did not have the other consequences imputed to Original Sin. Pelagianism views the role of Jesus Christ as "setting a good example" for the rest of us (thus counteracting Adam's bad example). In short, humanity has full control, and thus full responsibility, for its own salvation in addition to full responsibility for every sin (the latter insisted upon by both proponents and opponents of Pelagianism).

What does this have to do with Star Trek? It seems to me that Star Trek is the Pelagian paradise. Mankind has lifted himself out of sin altogether and peace reigns on Earth. All without any help from God at all! But Star Trek is merely a symptom of the greater threat of modern Pelagianism, of which the UN, for the good it may do, is the chief product. Modern Pelagianism could also be called the theory of progress. Progress is always good and ultimately mankind, through progress will achieve peace on Earth. So they say.

Sometimes it is hard to argue. Surely the civil rights movement and the changes it brought are good. Surely progresses in medical science have allowed us to heal those who could not be healed previously. Surely our homes and offices and cars are all safer thanks to progress in technology. Shucks, the very medium I am using to publish this scree is part of our progress.

But it's a lie. We are no better off than we used to be. For every "advance" we've made, there have been losses. Sure we're safer in our cars, but we drive faster so we can commute farther and exacerbate the loss of community. Our doctors can perform multiple heart bypass surgery, but they can also fulfil whatever warped and vain fantasies we have about how we want to look. We have reached a point where science no longer has to say, "that will never be an ethical issue because it's impossible." It is possible and it is being done.

My understanding of the original Star Trek is that it was about hope. About the future that could be. A future where a man with a strange way of talking could pick up space-chicks regardless of their color. A future where a community could comprise beings from many cultures and races and live in peace. But ultimately it was about hope for the future mankind could create without God. And it is a lie.

A Real Compliment

2004-09-14T23:59:00.000-05:00

My wife bought me a new shirt. It fits well and looks reasonably good--not a combination I often enjoy with shirts. This evening I was closing the blinds and turning off the computer in Sophie's room to get ready for lights out. Sophie looked up from her book and said, "I like your new shirt Dad." Then she added, "I like your shorts too, even though they aren't new." No quid pro quo. No adult feeding her "polite" lines, just a sincere compliment for no reason whatsoever. In other words, the best kind of compliment. I nearly cried.

Sophie is eight and I've been getting choked up any time she shows her mature self. I miss the child I see her leaving behind, but I am absolutely proud of the young adult she is slowly becoming.

What occurred to me, the reason I'm sharing this, is that everything in our lives is given for our salvation. Sophie had just demonstrated unconditional love, the love of God for us, after I had harangued her through brushing teeth, taking allergy medicine, and getting pajamas on. Basically my "Stern Dad" routine.

Saint Theophan the Recluse said that we should not look for great causes or charities to support, but live our daily lives according to Christ's commandments and treat everyone with love. (Paraphrased from The Spiritual Life and how to be attuned to it.) Although there are Orthodox groups dedicated to moral causes, the emphasis in Orthodox Christianity is on transforming ourselves in order to change the world. As the familiar saying of St. Saraphim goes, "Acquire a peaceful spirit, and around you thousands will be saved."

Sophie reminded me of a very important truth, you never know how the small kindnesses you do will be a blessing to someone. Recently there was a car commercial, Volkswagen I think, where a chain reaction of kindness was traced back to a smile. We would do well to remember that every action, whether kind or unkind, ripples through the lives of more people than we can know.

Where have all the posts gone?

2004-07-29T18:14:00.000-05:00

-OR-
What I'm up to now

One of my two readers commented that I haven't posted in a while. Thank you for your interest. It is humbling. In fact my life has changed greatly in the last few weeks. I was laid off and am now without a job. As I did most of my internet interfacing at work, this has created a problem for satisfying my tremendous e-addiction. I am too cheap/poor to have a broadband connection at home, plus the machine is in my daughter's room.

All of this adds up to: very little internet activity for this jonesing surfer. Oddly enough I do have the time and inclination. I have been writing snippets of notes, essays parts maybe, and they would be perfect for I Am A Sheep. The problem is the computer. It ain't in the place where I write. Actually the Royal and the Corona Super-Silent are there.

I just typed and mailed two important letters. One was to the St Herman of Alaska Brotherhood encouraging them their work in publishing Western Orthodox Roots. This is covered in the chapter of the same name in Father Seraphim Rose. I also thanked them for printing the homilies of Archbishop Philaret of Chernigov "On the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ." The important part was a prayer I wrote out to Blessed Seraphim. I am hoping they will place it at his grave. I know a similar thing is done with Saint John the Wonderworker of San Francisco. I'll let you know.

The second letter was to the owners of a building which would be perfect for the chapel. I'll write more about the chapel in coming weeks. Let me say that my priest has the Archbishops blessing to "plant" chapels around the area our parish draws from (basically all of East Tennesee).

Finally I began systematizing the notes on a Saint I am considering writing about. This particular Saint is rather famous, but his life is only known in short episodes. I am hoping I can be like Bev Macrina and put a book after my name every time I post to the convert list. (Love to Bev).

I will be gone for a week, when I get back I will set up the clumbering dinosaur (extra computer) in the garage, er office and post more often.

Finally, you may notice I have yet to find my blog voice. For some the blog is a manifesto given the attention due a pamplet in Colonial America. For others, it's a place to relect on recent events. For me its like the junk drawer in the kitchen. You never know what you're going to find, but it may be valuable. Grant me your patience as I find my blogovoice.

Thanks,
Raphael the Sinner